Functional Order: Te-Ni-Se-Fi
Mary is known for her brutal honesty; she shares the truth even when others do not want to hear it. She is direct, decisive, and no-nonsense, accustomed to taking matters into her own hands and accomplishing whatever she sets out to accomplish, from “stealing away” one of Edith’s beaux’s to managing the complicated nuances of the estate. Anything illogical makes no sense to her; she cannot comprehend Matthew’s refusal to use the money to save Downton out of “guilt,” and tries to convince him of the “sense of it.” She is a competent guardian of the estate, who is far more practical and resourceful than her father in making and keeping them financially afloat. She has a futuristic focus, and is eager to adapt to new lifestyles, haircuts, and “progress.” Mary sees the merit in developing Downton with the latest commodities, from telephones to gramophones, to building up the village for development. She easily reads and comprehends other people, enabling her to sense their intentions and manipulate them if need be. Mary thinks of the future consequences of her actions often, and those of other people (her concern that Rose’s intended engagement to a “man of color” may cause social problems and unhappiness later on), but she can be so focused on what she wants and obtaining it that she fails to see the broader picture of what else is happening around her. Her opportunistic nature is both an asset and a liability; she can see chances to act and take them for both good and bad. She admits that she almost envies her aunt being “all alone in a great, empty house.” Mary spends a great deal of time alone, and can be passive in pursuing what she wants, though she does does enjoy hunting on occasion. She’s hesitant to leap into anything (telling Pamuk she’s not as adventurous as he thinks, and agonizing over whether to marry Matthew for months while she tries to decide). Her one act of sheer impulsiveness backfires when Pamuk ends up dead in her bed. Her father also laments on occasion at her “extremely expensive taste” in the finer things in life – from the latest fashions to the most expensive housing. She has a difficult relationship with her inferior Fi. Mary is private about her feelings and unsure of them (“I think I’ve loved him longer than I realized”). She can be childish in her need to defy and go against everyone else’s wishes (“You know me, Father. I never do anything people want me to do”). When dealing with intense emotional loss, she retreats into herself and out of the public eye, choosing to deal with it on her own rather than seek affirmation and comfort from others. She can be cold, using others to pursue her agenda (hurting her sisters and/or making others jealous). Even her grandmother tells her a little compassion wouldn’t go amiss; Mary also has intense moments of compassion for others, she admires decency in people, and can when she wants to show a kind nature underneath all the thorns.
Enneagram: 3w4 so/sx
Mary is hard-working, competitive, and wants to be seen as the best. She carries a burden of being upset that her father doesn’t seem to appreciate her as a girl (“He wanted a boy!”) and so she works hard to earn his approval. Her biggest struggle comes from her emotions – like all 3s, Mary is more focused on the impact she has on others than on knowing what she truly feels. This causes deep indecision when she must decide whether or not to accept Matthew’s proposal, when it appears he may lose his fortune to her unborn baby brother. She’s torn between what she wants (Matthew) and what society will think. Mary HAS to “win” at being the most flirtatious, attractive woman in the room every time; but she simply uses men to play off one another and suit her own needs. Her 4 wing makes her aloof, self-absorbed, and aware of her own flaws; she feels a sense of alienation and hurt at being “unwanted” (and can be occasionally melodramatic).