MBTI Type: ESFJ
Dobbin is a hands-on “meddler” in other people’s lives. He feels so distraught at having other people at odds with each other that he must bring them into harmony, cause them to repair their relationships, and goes out of his way to ensure they are all “okay” with each other before he can feel contented with himself. He spends more time catering to others’ needs than to his own. But he can also be forthright with his feelings when pressed too far, like when he tells off Amelia for being the most selfish person he has ever met – and says that he should have seen sooner that she was “not worth striving for.” This shows his low Ti tendency not to analyze other people or himself, but to trust his higher functions to bond with them. He holds onto his love for Amelia over… decades. He knew “the minute I first saw you that I loved you,” and like a lot of Si and Ne users, he nurtures that affection … ignoring her faults, downplaying them, catering to her needs, and always thinking of a future together in which he might finally find happiness. He has enough lower Ne romanticism to hold onto her, while still being a sensible and driven man in his personal career, content to stay as a military man and able to work his way up through the ranks. He also finds traditional ways to help Amelia – by being her friend, sending her gifts, and trying to parent her son.
Enneagram: 2w1 sp/so
Dobbin is the perfect example of a 2 and their virtues as well as their flaws. He is compassionate, generous, and giving, quick to help people – he goes so far as to try and repair Amelia’s marriage, even though he’s in love with her, because it’s the right thing to do (1 wing). He sends her money and tries to take care of her as a widow. He thinks he can earn her approval and friendship and love by doing things for her. But like all 2’s, he finds it hard to ask to have his own needs met. To bring up his wants and desires. And he finally, when pushed too far, explodes – and tells her everything that he has bottled up for a long time. That she’s selfish, inconsiderate, petty, and childish. That she doesn’t know a good thing when she sees it, and he should not have wasted so much of his life on pining for her. And, in a way, that fixes it, because she finally knows what he wants and needs – and decides to give it to him, when she fears losing him.