Lily has an idealized notion of Christmas as the best holiday ever, to the extent that she doesn’t want to face the fact that she might be alone on Christmas. She is an eternal optimist. She chooses to see the best in other people, and actively hates negativity—when Dash sends her to an art studio to “create her feelings” and then “destroy them,” she chooses to walk out with her “angry-faced” puppet (how she sees him) and keep him instead, because she likes “happy endings.” Though her brother initially came up with the idea of the notebook and chose the different books for Dash to look up as part of the discovery process, Lily also contributed and continues to think up challenges for him and places to go that somehow tie into her own past, her mischievous side in forcing him outside his comfort zone, and her love of Christmas. She assumes if she sends him to all the same places that make her happy, he cannot help becoming enthusiastic about Christmas. It works for her, why not for him? It’s hard for her to express her feelings in any other way than writing – she finds it difficult to formulate how she feels on the spot, and instead goes off on Ne tangents in which she routinely embarrasses herself. She would much rather get to know a guy through a notebook exchange and has never been in a real relationship, something she admits to as a last resort. She chooses to express herself and her quirky side through how she dresses, which draws attention to her sense of style rather than her shyness. She will wear one shoe and one boot to bolster her confidence, put ornaments and tinsel all over a Christmas sweater with lights entwined in it to stand out at a party, and will turn up to a dive and then hide in the bathroom because she cannot bear to face her anxieties. Lily tells off her brother for being an “idiot” for breaking up with his boyfriend because the guy was going to spend two weeks out of the country. She points out that, logically, that is insane. She can also be rude and blunt when she’s drunk and disappointed. Lily loathes the idea of moving away from New York and starting over in another country; she likes to stay at home, read books and do her own thing. She is also inclined to bouts of “random streams of consciousness” whenever she gets nervous, causing her to blurt out whatever is on her brain (which doesn’t always make sense to her date).

Enneagram: 6w7 sp/so

Lily struggles with a lot of self-doubt and anxiety about her own ability to connect to other people, to make new friends, and to try new things. Though she has an optimistic attitude, she also only steps outside her comfort zone when Dash makes it part of the challenge in the notebook. She hides out in a public bathroom at one point because she feels overwhelmed by the idea of making a spectacle of herself, but then finds the courage (because he left her a note in the bathroom) to get out there and “just dance.” She’s afraid to move away, to meet the guy she likes without knowing more about him first, and to open up completely to another person. She worries that he’s seeing his ex and will no longer take an interest in her anymore. But she often chooses optimism and to engage with the world rather than completely hide away from it.