Functional Order: Fi-Se-Ni-Te
Grace doesn’t really understand her mother, because she is all emotion and her mother appears to be all logic. She doesn’t like to be told that she cannot sink into herself, but she must get up, dust off her boots, and get back into the fray. She tends to internalize things deeply, and doesn’t want to talk about the accident for many months, until it has finally become so unbearable that she needs to tell someone. She accuses her mother of being “selfish,” and making this all about her, because it is drawing attention away from her own suffering. She cannot see that this didn’t just happen to her, it happened to everyone in her family. Before the accident, she eagerly went out riding whenever she got the chance and could spend hours with Pilgrim, brushing him, talking to him, loving him. After the accident, she still wants to do things for herself and not get help. Grace takes part in ranch chores and even does the risky thing of trying to enter her horse’s sell before his full recovery, which causes him stress and scares her, due to his violence. She tries to mount a horse even with her bum leg, and although she’s scared and intimidated to drive, learns to do it. She wallows for a bit in tert-Ni, obsessing over a future in which she will be alone, because she cannot imagine anyone loving her after the accident. She thinks because of her prosthetic leg that she is now unlovable. Grace can be angry and blunt under stress, saying cruel things and then regretting them, but also bluntly expressing herself (her feelings of shame and sadness and inadequacy at being only “part” herself). She responds best to those people who do not pressure her to recover faster or open up until she is ready, such as Tom. And she makes no secret of her preference for her father, who is more warm and emotional than her mother (an ESFJ).
Enneagram: 6w5 sp/so
Grace has a funny remark to lighten up almost any occasion. She will often cause others to warm up to her through mild sarcastic humor and even bravado to cover up her insecurities. She does have a lot of self-doubt and anxiety about embracing her new life, about the recovery of her horse, about trusting Tom to keep her safe in the arena with Pilgrim, and even distrust of her mother to go along with her anger. She has never felt particularly “loved” by her mother, and so hangs onto her father as someone more trustworthy and likable. But she is also willing to face her fears and try. She is rational, even though she is emotional, saying at one point that it might be best to put her horse down, since it’s not “fair to let him suffer.” She can also be private, withdrawn, and hesitant to engage until she collects more facts (she only agrees to help Tom when it becomes clear he won’t help them unless she commits, and asks him what that entails).