Functional Order: Te-Ni-Se-Fi
Amanda is a highly successful woman, who lives in an enormous house (all paid for herself), who edits movie trailers (“and that’s why they pay me the big bucks!”). She’s a frank, opinionated workaholic who admits she hasn’t had a real vacation in years, who breaks up with her boyfriend without shedding a single tear. She talks to herself when she’s alone. She has devoted her entire life to building a career and not having a steady home life, and once she finds a guy she likes, she immediately falls into bed with him (while assuring him that “I don’t normally do this”). She cannot even enjoy their time together, because she is busy thinking and planning ahead to all the ways this won’t work, how hard long-term commitment might be, and how to get around that. Amanda cannot stop thinking about what is coming, rather than being “right here.” She can be impulsive and reactive under stress, punching her ex in the face and throwing him out of her house when she catches him cheating, deciding on a whim to fly abroad at Christmas rather than stay home (and trading her house for a remote cottage in the process). Amanda is so bored in the country with nothing to do, she almost packs up and flies somewhere else where she can lay on a beach “in the sun,” but Graham persuades her to stay. She tries to make a “rational” decision about things… except, she finds out the heart sometimes wins! She asks her boyfriend, “Why does it bug you so much that I can’t cry?” Amanda even tries. She can’t even force it. She doesn’t cry until she realizes how much she’s going to miss this guy. Then, the waterworks start. It makes her happy. She finally is in touch with her heart. Prior to that, Amanda struggles a lot with her feelings. She’s not sure how to handle them (they give her heartburn!). She doesn’t want to trust them. She puts them off, ignores them, and sometimes yells them: “I would NEVER cheat on you. EVER.”
Enneagram: 3w2 sp/so
Amanda is used to “getting on with life,” including pushing aside her feelings and not dealing with them whatsoever. The fact that she can cry surprises even her. She hates talking about her past hurts, and the time her dad just up and left them. Forever. Emotions are a sore spot for her; she would rather throw herself into workaholic behaviors, to the point where she gives herself stress because she cannot keep up. She is confident about her abilities and has good marketing skills, but is also self-conscious about how to connect to men, and shifts into “drill sergeant mode” in firing off interrogation questions at them, rather than just “relaxing” on a date. She totes along a stack of books on the plane to read, all quality titles recommended to her on best seller lists, but gets bored with all of them, since it’s not accomplishing anything.