MBTI Type: ESFJ
ESFJs are skilled in knowing how to cultivate their reputation, and use it to their advantage, and Daphne does this with tremendous skill. She knows exactly what will ruin her in the eyes of others, and makes her decisions based off it, including her insistence Simon marry her, because she suspects another girl spotted them “walking alone in the garden” together. She wants to marry a proper gentleman of good standing and a fine reputation, and hopes that it will include love, but does not consider that a requirement, so long as it works in the eyes of society. She objects to her brother’s brusque treatment of her potential suitors, and would much rather use her own, more sensitive approach. Daphne is somewhat judgmental of Simon at first; she is “aware of his reputation” as a philanderer, and accuses him of being a rake, going so far even after they are married to wonder aloud where he has spent his night “and with whom” (inferring his previous behavior has caused her to suspect the worst of him). She uses her societal connections to bring people back into good standing, by allowing the Featherstones to attend her ball (a simple acknowledgment by a Duchess does wonders for their reception among her guests), and by attempting to find Mirana’s “young man” through her ability to introduce herself to a general’s wife. But she runs into problems within her marriage, because she cannot and will not understand her husband’s reasons for refusing to have children; when she finds out he “can but won’t,” she becomes forceful in her attempts to change his mind and get him to agree with her, because she cannot stand living with someone who will not share her views. All she wants is a normal life, albeit a rich one, in which she can be a “good wife and mother.” She marries him assuming she can change him in ways that are more pleasing to her, and is naïve in misreading his intentions, his true opinions, and his motivations, every single time they have an argument. She assumes he is not in love with her, that he does not lust after her, that he will not forgive her, that they cannot live together, that their lives together are “forever ruined,” and it takes her discovering his letters to his father in which he pours out his heart for her to get why he refuses to give himself (and her) happiness. She was so successful at ‘faking’ her love for him at first, Daphne refused to admit it was ‘real’ when her mother sensed their deep connection. She attends to the practical things in life, in trying to please everyone, and creates some problems for herself in the process (her refusal to choose the “best pig” in the village slights everyone present and means families will go hungry this winter without pork).
Enneagram: 6w7 so/sp
Daphne embodies her intentions when she tells her brother that she is, like him, attempting only to do “my duty” within the family, which means to find herself a decent husband in the fulfillment of their (and society’s) wishes. She approaches things in a very logical way, as she schemes to get a husband, to thwart unwanted suitors, to get her new husband to give her the child that she wants, and to help others similarly achieve their best selves. She is motivated as much by the need to protect her reputation as she is to avoid serious conflict—she does not want the duke and her brother to duel over her, and one of them be killed, but also is fearful that another may expose her “indiscretion” in the garden and make her “damaged goods.” Daphne tends to see the worst sometimes in others, as displayed in her suspicious behavior toward her husband; she starts to think he has lied to her, then becomes angry about what he has done and confronts him about it, but only after she tests her theory and gathers evidence to prove he is capable of having children. She assumes, when they quarrel, that he will return to his ways as a rake, as she called him when they first knew each other. Much of their false courtship was spent in a combination of flirting and arguments about his defective character. Under stress, she becomes even more worried about her reputation and ability to be successful, and at one point, breaks down in tears before a ball, confessing to her mother that she does not know how to do any of this (her mother reassures her that she is more than capable of success within her marriage, and as a duchess). Daphne also shows some aggression from her seven wing—she is unapologetic in how she goes directly after what she wants, and although she second-guesses sometimes (her 6 seeking others to be happy with her,, and attempting to find middle ground in her marriage), she also doesn’t want to think badly of herself. Daphne focuses on only her own betrayal within the marriage (how Simon has not told her the truth, despite knowing she wants a family “more than anything”) rather than the wrong things she has done to him, as if she cannot bear to think of herself as anything but the “injured party” (7s do not like to admit to their own mistakes, and 6s are prone to feeling like a victim). But she also shows the positive side of 7 in how good-natured, hopeful, and fun-loving she is; when a rain ruins her first ball as the duchess, she laughs with joy and makes the most of it. And she convinces Simon that things need not be “perfect” to be worth loving, using herself as an example; he need not fear children, or being a good father, because she has every faith in him that he can succeed.