You Again: Marni [ISFJ 6w7]

Function Order: Si-Fe-Ti-Ne

“High school was a horror movie. This weekend is the sequel.”

Marni

A driven and successful career woman, Marni is also so caught up in her past that when her brother shows up about to marry the girl who made her life a living hell in high school, she is unable to accept the fact that J.J. might have changed or become a better person. She is convinced that “Joanna” has only evil schemes in mind and looks for evidence and ways to prove what a horrible person she is, including digging up the high school time capsule to play her video at the rehearsal dinner. Being forced into a situation that deals with this girl throws her back into all the same insecurities that she faced as a teenager and causes her to escalate into emotional drama, although out of respect for her brother (to a limited degree), Marni goes about her sneakiness in underhanded rather than direct ways. She wants an apology for Joanna’s behavior when they were kids, and hints at it, drops in smug remarks about the past, and generally tries to ‘trigger’ the girl’s memories about high school. The more Joanna pushes back against her and becomes hostile, the more vindicated Marni becomes and the less she cares about her brother’s feelings. Finally, she succeeds in humiliating Joanna in public, but also ruins her brother’s life in the process. Full of guilt and remorse, she then is so distraught at finding a depressed Joanna in the kitchen about to eat cheese-covered Oreos, that she comforts her arch-nemesis and even forgives her—once she’s had her apology. Then she has to clean up the mess she caused.

Enneagram: 6w7 sp/so

Unhealthy 6s can look for hostility in others where none exists and, in the process through treating others with aggression and suspicion, cause the other person to turn against them and ‘become’ the thing the 6 feared in the first place. This is exactly what happens to Marnie. She shows up expecting Joanna to be the same horrible girl who tortured her in high school. Rather than letting down her guard, she regards all that Joanna says with skepticism and disbelief, assuming she is manipulating Marni’s family. She tries to goad her into remembering the past and apologizing for it, until Joanna realizes she’s not about to pretend it never happened and starts subtly attacking her through little digs (playing the music she humiliated Marni with in high school, giving her a necklace with her initials – “MOO” on it—etc). Marnie reacts against her in such a way that she causes a great many of her own problems and eventually threatens to damage her relationship with her brother. Her high school years were fraught with insecurity and the desire to be invisible, and she becomes anxious, self-conscious, and angry once she returns home and finds everyone in her life “loves” her old nemesis. Marnie doesn’t approach the situation directly, but instead uses underhanded tactics that backfire on her. Fortunately, she wants peace with her brother enough that she is willing to admit to her mistakes, forgive the girl who wronged her, and move forward.