Function Order: Te-Ni-Se-Fi

“I’m not ready to get over it. I have a lot of anger to work through before we sweep this under the carpet and move on.”

– Lynette Scavo

Lynette is a brilliant businesswoman, when she’s allowed near the office; she tends to easily take over, and completely enjoys the competitive environment. She can effortlessly make tough decisions and has no hesitation in overruling Tom or contradicting his ideas, often sacrificing the love in their relationship in the process because she did not bother to stop and consider his emotional reaction to her bluntness or ‘taking over’ of the situation. She never wanted to be a stay at home mom, but does so out of a sense of obligation—her real desire is to be in the workforce, making things happen, and in going for the ‘jugular’ on business deals. She can be tough-talking and opportunistic, aiming to get her sons into the best schools and wearing them out before their admissions interview so that they behave themselves for once. But she also has fierce opinions about a few things, like sexual affairs—she won’t stand for them. Lynette also thinks it’s inappropriate for a man to make derogatory comments about his wife behind her back in public, and calls him out on it. She threatens to ‘handle the situation’ if her husband will not, and is shocked at his passive reaction to it, because it offends her so deeply. She will become emotionally reactive under stress and burst into tears of frustration, shocking her kids. Not a natural homemaker, Lynette finds the boring tedium of ‘home life’ frustrating, complicated, and out of her league. She doesn’t know how to control her kids, she hates housework, and she often focuses on the potential of a situation instead. Overriding Tom’s ideas with her own, sensing his interest in their new babysitter and seeing it as a potential threat (she’s young, cute, and he keeps looking at her, so maybe he will stray from his tired wife?), and putting her mind to figuring out what drove Mary Alice to suicide. Lynette wants certain things out of her life, and cannot cope with them when they change—she never envisioned her husband might divorce her and move on, that just wasn’t part of her expectations. She tries to plan for the future and keep her family safe, but also winds up worrying about the bad things that could befall her family as a result of their choices.

Enneagram: 8w9 sp/so

Lynette is all about power struggles and wanting the upper hand, so much so that she cannot have sex in the missionary position, because it means Tom is in charge of her. (They spend so much time rolling over and arguing about it, he gets out of the mood.) Her sons won’t listen to her authority, but she still engages them in almost constant power struggles, even marching into a pool and dragging them out of it (her funeral dress soaked) to force them to behave. She will seek out and take an advantage if she finds it, even if it’s technically not moral. (Misleading a private school as to her twins’ behavior problems, to get them off her hands.) She is confrontational and aggressive, not afraid to tell people off to their face, but also doesn’t want unnecessary strife at home. So much noise, confusion, chaos, and screaming from her twins prequel exhausts her into total collapse. Lynette even takes their ADD medication for awhile, so she can keep up with them, and then has a drug-related meltdown, when it’s no longer an option to pop pills. She will rant and rage at her husband, and then feel bad and try to make it up to him, or “make peace” between them.