Desperate Housewives: Gabrielle Solis [ESTP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

“[Money can’t buy happiness.’ Sure it can! That’s just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting.”

– Gaby Solis

Gaby defines adaptability, quick thinking in the moment, and living to the fullest in the present. She was a high fashion model before she married a businessman, and now she lives her dream life in a gorgeous house, with regular shopping trips, hairstylist visits, and spa days. She would hate to give all of that up, and even holds back a portion of their income when her husband is under threat of jail, to maintain her future pleasurable lifestyle. Gaby can be incredibly short-sighted, also – she has an affair with an underage gardener without thinking about how the consequences might play out, how she could get sued or go to prison for statutory rape, or how this might backfire on her friends (the kid’s mom figures that Susan is to blame and humiliates her in public). She thinks she can sneak around behind Carlos’ back with her affairs and misbehaviors, without getting caught, and is very creative in how she deals with things—using car accidents to cover up her affair, leaping into action with a shovel, and even employing blackmail and cover-ups, because it seems like a good way to get out of her bad situation. Gaby has no internal ethics, instead she is forever looking for ‘leverage’ in a situation and has no hesitation in using it—she blackmails her own mother-in-law, and gets her arrested for shoplifting so that she can run around with her lover behind her back without getting caught. She pretends to feign emotions whenever it will get her something, but really only cares about how her friends feel about her. Gaby urges Bree to take a man “for a test drive,” saying you wouldn’t buy a car without one, would you? She can be tactless and straightforward, but also try and talk or charm her way out of anything. She’s so worried about how people perceive her that she tries to hide the fact that she, as a former fashion model, is now doing car sales expos at the local mall. (What, this dress? I just… was shoe shopping today.) Gaby doesn’t want to hear anyone whine about their problems, but will vent her own frequently (as long as it won’t cause her friends to think ill of her).

Enneagram: 7w8 sp/sx

When someone asks Gaby what she wants from her life, her answer is simple “to be happy.” That is her main purpose and drive, and it shapes her constant need for new, exciting things, from clothes to shoes to lovers to not wanting to deal with the impact of her own behavior. Gabby will lie, cheat, steal, and otherwise make excuses to cover up her selfish behaviors. She wants what she wants and intends to have it, if possible while making sure Carlos doesn’t get it. She doesn’t want children, because they tie her down in life, and she simply wants to “play” and “have fun.” She is forever making excuses and looking for loopholes to exploit situations. On occasion, Gabby falls into 1 disintegration where she feels genuine remorse for her actions and how they have hurt others. In those times, she grows as a person, but she’s quick to bounce back into optimism, good humor, and using wit and charm to navigate through life. Her 8 wing urges her to go after what she wants, and that is often a desire to get the ‘upper hand.’ She engages in almost continual power struggles with her husband, over just who is in charge here. Gaby intends for it to be herself.