Function Order: Ne-Ti-Fe-Si

Joe is a likable entrepreneur who says “it’s not personal, it’s business”; at first, he’s preoccupied with the idea of driving other bookstores out of business, then he meets Kathleen and feels bad about the idea that they might ruin her life, and close her little store, which has so many treasured memories of her mother in it. He waffles back and forth and is something of a witty idealist, writing letters full of single thoughts and observations about life, such as fall making him want to buy school supplies, and thinking about a bouquet of pencils. When he starts seeing Kathleen and gradually manipulating her into liking him again, he enjoys bantering back and forth with her ideas about what his own username might be (152 pock marks on his face, 152 moles removed, he must be fat, so fat a crane has to lift him out of his apartment, etc) – and he really cringes when she actually hits on the truth (“his address! No, he would never do something that prosaic!”). Joe is good at sizing up business-related tactics – at guessing accurately that Kathleen sells $300,000 worth of books in a year, given where her store is, their overall cost, etc. He tells her that when her business is on the line, to “go to the mattresses” and be brutal against whomever is trying to shut her down (not realizing he’s giving her encouragement to take him down in the process). He also has good/bad Fe, in the sense that when he uses it (in conjunction with his conflict-avoiding 9), he uses it well – he can be charming, flattering, and likable, easily connecting to Kathleen and to his brother and niece. But he can also use it to be a jerk – he shows up at their date to intentionally bait Kathleen, provoke her, and make fun of her, because he’s angry about her not being someone else. He insults her, but doesn’t feel good about her insulting him back – he’s offended, and then feels bad about what he said. He warns her, in an e-mail before he knew who he was talking to, that being able to say what you want to say, in the moment you want to say it, often leaves you with remorse. Joe remembers details about her life, pieced together from their e-mails, conversations, and his grandfather’s comments about her mother, but doesn’t show much preference for his own sensory comfort – he winds up moving out and living on a boat for months after breaking up with his girlfriend.

Enneagram: 9w8 so/sp

Joe is a jerk with a heart of gold – someone who waffles back and forth between being accommodating and avoiding conflict and who lashes out at people, causing it. He goes out of his way to conceal who he is at Kathleen’s bookstore, to avoid her being angry at him, but then later when they meet at a dinner party and she figures out who he is, he is mean to her – lashing out at her, diminishing her bookstore, and asserting his authority. After being upset that it’s her he was supposed to meet on a date, Joe gets so mad that he goes in there and intentionally upsets her, but even then, accuses her of being ‘mean’ to him and feels so bad after her insult, he leaves and then ghosts her, by not answering her next e-mail or sending her an explanation. He is mild-mannered and agreeable a lot of the time, but when he feels threatened, becomes aggressive and domineering – and then he does things he regrets, “Mr. Nasty comes out,” and he wishes he could fix it; he spends the last twenty minutes of the film undoing everything his 8 wing did to Kathleen, so they can be together. And even when he meets her in the park, he’s hesitant – concerned about how upset she might be.