ESFPs “find themselves” by trying out life experiences—and that’s what Helen does when after a lifetime of serial philandering, she decides it’s time to try out women, so she places an advert and throws herself into a bisexual lifestyle. She argues with Jessica that you only figure out who you are by how you respond to sensual experiences – implying that for her, the experience comes first, and later is when you decide whether it’s “you” or not (sensing coming before feelings). She comfortably integrates into new situations and doesn’t need or want to look at ‘toys’; she figures they can just ‘make things up as we go along,’ and feels frustrated that their relationship is moving so slowly. Prior to meeting Helen, she was hooking up with one of her booty calls in a closet at work, while on the job—showing she really does whatever she feels like doing, whenever she feels like it, regardless of where it takes place. The physical element of a relationship is super important to her, way more than just an emotional connection. She needs things to move fast to keep her interest. Helen is good-natured and non-judgmental; she doesn’t care what others do or condemn them for anything, just says that people are searching to find themselves and that’s cool. She finds Jessica a little judgmental as a result, and that causes their first argument. The only thing she can’t stand is feeling like Jessica is ‘ashamed’ of being with her. Helen really doesn’t think in the long term at all, and while she’s a professional art gallery businesswoman, she doesn’t let that intrude into her private life or her many affairs.

Enneagram: 7w6 so/sx

Helen says she can’t be with anyone who doesn’t want to “rip her clothes off,” she needs to fill them body and soul and occupy all of their thoughts—her sexless short-term relationship with Jessica doesn’t work, because sx-blind Jessica thinks it’s enough to have a mental connection, and she craves a physical one. She has been pursuing sexual escapades and partners, sometimes several at once, for as long as she can recall, and even saw being bisexual as an experiment. She is always seeking fun, entertainment, connection, and something ‘new’ to occupy her time, but also has a 6-sense of reliability, and a willingness to try to make it work with Jessica even when she gets frustrated (she says she is tired of being ‘cock-blocked’ but ten minutes later, reassures Jessica on the phone that everything is great between them). Ultimately, though, she makes up her mind to leave—and does, telling Jessica “we make great friends. That’s all we are—best friends.” She doesn’t want to be bored, unhappy, or shoved to the sidelines anymore.

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