MBTI Type: ENTP
Harry is something of a philosopher and a cynic, who participates in life as much as he grouses about it, and who is opportunistic. It takes him a very short amount of time to look at something from the complete opposite perspective, such as arguing with Sally about one thing, only to realize a few hours later that she’s attractive and invite her to spend the night. He says men and women can’t be friends, that never works out, and gives her a long-winded explanation about why (it boils down to all men are either wanting to sleep with the girls they are friends with because they are attracted to them, or not attracted to them and still wanting to sleep with them). He reverses his own thinking about Sally several times (they can’t be friends; they can be friends; he isn’t attracted to her; he is attracted to her; he doesn’t want a commitment; he does want a commitment…). He thinks she is too emotional and inclined to get involved, whereas he thinks about things and comes at it from a more detached perspective, which includes not having a clue about his own feelings. He only realizes that he’s in love with Sally after they’ve broken up for a time, and that causes him to do introspection and realize he wants to marry her immediately, because “when you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want to start it as soon as possible.” Harry shows low Si in that he assumes his own experiences are going to be universal for other people, that everything always follows a human pattern (men and women together, relationships, divorce proceedings, etc).
Enneagram: 7w6 sp/so
Harry spends his entire life being cynical about people and relationships (they are all doomed to failure) while engaging in empty distractions like countless hookups; he admits that he feels nothing for most of the women he sleeps with, but he sleeps with them anyway, and then doesn’t want to stick around, be in a relationship, or have any kind of a commitment – he’s thinking about how quickly he can get dressed and hurry away. He is in denial about Sally for over ten years, insisting that he doesn’t love her, and it’s only when he screws up their relationship by likening her to a ‘dog’ (because she attaches to him and wants love) and has to be without her for a few months that he realizes how much he genuinely cares about her, and decides to settle down and get married after all. He’s somewhat negative, cynical, and detached; but he still gets sucked into people and feels somewhat responsible to them. He did wind up married for a while, and wanted something permanent, but then assumes that because it went south for him, everyone else’s relationship is also doomed to failure. Harry looks on the negative side of things almost as often as he focuses on shallow distractions.
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