The Nevers: Hugo Swann [ESTP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

Hugo lives a life of over-indulgence and sensuality; he has managed to generate an income with a minimal amount of effort, by establishing an elite club where men can indulge their sexual desires—then he takes any information he gets about them and blackmails them into giving him whatever he wants. He has them sign agreements before they join to protect himself from lawsuits and police arrests, but that’s the extent of his forward thinking. He loses himself to any moment he is in, whether that’s rutting backstage with an actress (and being oblivious to a massacre happening on the stage and in the auditorium) or inviting his best friend to ‘loosen up’ with a night in his club. He is unscrupulous and disinterested in being responsible, but knows enough to protect himself. Hugo is flamboyant and charming, able to convince random women to sleep with him but without any emotional attachments or interests in establishing anything permanent. He shows almost no forward thinking, other than his dreams for his club.

Enneagram: 7w8 sp/sx

Hugo is a hedonist to an intense degree, who has a private club for men that is mostly about fulfilling intense desires and distracting him from the outside world, where he engages in threesomes, has sex with any prostitute who wants a job there, and is disappointed never to find any truly spectacular gifts among the Touched (like orgasming and filling the room with blue light, that’s what he wants). He is somewhat feckless, irresponsible, and hates to be ‘bored’; if he has to go to the opera, he will ignore Faust and have sex with one of the actresses backstage, which is far more entertaining for him than sitting through a bunch of warbling. He has no interest in being more agreeable than he is, reacts to threats by asserting himself, and is unapologetic in fulfilling his intense sexual desires (he has threesomes, sleeps until noon, and doesn’t do much all day, plus uses any information he gathers to blackmail people with).

Paid Request: Edward, Prince of Wales [ESFP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Fi-Te-Ni

Edward is an aggressive, hedonistic man who gets into trouble with his father in the first scene for challenging one of his childhood friends, Robert Bruce, to a sword fight outside his father’s tent, rather than attending to the business at hand (of stripping local lords of their titles, or allowing them to keep them, depending on their family name and treasonous behaviors). His father believes him weak, because all he does is pursue a life of pleasure and show a lack of wisdom and rational thinking. It’s true that whenever Edward attempts to please him, he overdoes it with aggression, abandoning diplomacy and using brutality instead. This results in the Scots turning against him. For example, he takes Robert Bruce’s wife and daughter into custody, but then kills Robert’s brother in a cruel fashion (hanging him and gutting him) right in front of them, because he won’t betray his brother – without finding out if he was telling the truth or not. He simply executes him on the spot. Though much of his motivation is to earn approval from his father, and his constant berating and cruelties cut deep, Edward reacts assertively by pointing out the ways they are not alike; he thinks his father is too merciful to his enemies and traitors, and so “I am the stronger of us,” and sets out to prove it. He blames others for his own problems at times; instead of accepting his culpability in angering Robert enough to use underhanded tactics against them (because of his brother’s murder), Edward blames one of his captains for not capturing him. He is also capable of making emotional decisions, and drawing moral lines; he doesn’t touch Elizabeth or allow any of his men to hurt her or Robert’s innocent child. He has the little girl sent away to a nunnery and asks Elizabeth to annul her marriage; when she does not, he has her put in a cage and hung off the castle wall as punishment, but later offers her in a prisoner exchange to Robert after the war. He shows no long term thinking, and no respect for his father’s final wishes (for his bones to be boiled and carried into battle with them; he has him buried where he fell).

Enneagram: 7w8 sp/so

Edward wants to be free of his father’s influence and have fun, not attend to the boring and serious tedium of being a king. He would rather eat, laugh, and joke with his friends than strip them of their swords, but his father’s constant disapproval makes him lean hard into his 8 wing in an attempt to prove himself stronger than those who have come before him. He ruthlessly deals with his enemies and allows them to take on underhanded tactics in chasing after Bruce (ignoring the rules of combat, making prisoners of their women and children, etc). But he falters on the battlefield, when it becomes clear that he is alone and surrounded by his enemies; he begs for his life, cries, and vomits out of sheer fear, making such a pathetic, fearful display that Robert allows him to escape unharmed rather than killing him on the spot.

Fool’s Gold: Finn [ESTP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

Finn tends to live in the moment… as in, he doesn’t think about tomorrow much at all, and borrows a large amount of money from a loan shark to pay off previous debts, without worrying too much about how he’s going to pay that back. He has spent his entire life as a drifter in pursuit of treasure, devoting every waking hour to scuba diving and messing around on ships, without settling down in any one place (much to his wife’s annoyance). He just assumes whatever goes wrong he can “wing it,” and for the most part, that happens. He is a risk-taker as well; when he finds out a rival has found where he located a bit of sunken treasure and set up a search grid, he dives down there and starts messing up their grid—just assuming no one is going to spot him from the deck of their ship or set off an explosive. When he winds up chained to an anchor and almost shot by the loan shark’s thugs, he fights his way out of the situation, manages to hurt one of them, and then unchains himself using the gun they dropped into the ocean. He then easily makes friends with a bunch of vacation kids on a boat, who deliver him to the mainland… not in time to save his marriage. Once he starts thinking about the inconsistencies in their search, Finn quickly realizes the ship isn’t where they said it was – that the eyewitness was lying, must have run her aground rather than hitting the reef, then hid the treasure somewhere on the island. He’s smart in how he goes about getting support for his cause, but foolish in assuming he will never need to pay his loan sharks. Finn uses charm, emotional manipulation, and enthusiasm to get around the things he doesn’t want to deal with, and to convince other investors to get involved – but he leaves out how dangerous it might be, and also is clueless about why his wife is so angry with him. He has just been doing his own thing, and not thinking about how to nurture his marriage. Finn has been following a dream for years, just sure that he’s going to find a sunken Spanish ship full of treasure and become famous. He has persisted in this dream despite all evidence to the contrary, throwing money and time after it in his pursuit of his obsession.

Enneagram: 7w8 so/sx

Finn is, according to his wife, the most irresponsible person on the face of the earth, someone who never thinks about any of the consequences of his decisions and assumes it’s all going to work out fine. He’s totally baffled by why his wife would divorce him, since he doesn’t see himself as ever doing anything wrong! Sure, he has racked up loads of debt, now has people trying to kill him because he sunk his boat (collateral for a loan), and is obsessive about treasure, but he’s found it! No matter what’s going on, Finn in hilarious fashion manages to focus on the good rather than the bad – I mean, sure losing the boat sucks, but he found a Spanish plate! And maybe he did get thrown up in the air and land hard, but it made his ex-wife worried about him! Finn is always looking for the bright side and leaping on any opportunities that come his way. He isn’t intimidated by most people, and isn’t above underhanded tactics, either – he sabotages other divers’ mapping systems, cheats a lot of people by just leaving town when he has to pay his tab (he says that at least him using 60 grand to pay off OTHER debts means he’s good for this one, and will pay it… someday).

Paid Request: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings: Katy Chen [ESTP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

Katy has been squandering most of her life just living in the moment; she has no interest in pursuing a steady career or advancement, unlike what her mother and grandmother want for her; instead, she likes to borrow hot-rods from her job parking them and go for high-speed joyrides – knowing full well if she crashes the car, she’ll be in serious trouble. But she doesn’t crash cars, her reflexes are just that good. She takes over and drives a bus successfully through town after people attack her best friend on it, eventually getting it to stop with the help of a truck driver (whom she gives a thumbs up, and says “we make a good team”). Katy finds out, to her surprise, that she is a natural archer when she continues to hit bull’s eyes each time she fires an arrow, giving her the confidence to rush into battle and help them defeat a great evil. She takes advantage of the moment when she enters a fight club to place a bet (against her best friend; no loyalty there), and rakes in the cash without apologizing for it (instead, she says of course she didn’t bet against him). It was an advantage, she sized him up, saw him lacking, and sees no problem getting some money off him. She rationalizes away her decisions, many of which are amoral (“borrowing” cars at work being a serious breach of trust as an employee). She also is funny, charming, assumes she can talk her way out of anything, expresses her feelings instantly and points out how stupid it was for Shaun to change his name to… well, Shaun. That’s like being in witness protection, and changing your name from Mikael to Michael, she says. She feels some sense of obligation to help people she’s never known, and often vents her feelings the moment things happen (ranting about her mom accusing her of being immature). Katy has no real purpose for her life and no interest in developing any long term goals, until she sees what she can do, learns to take herself more seriously, and then decides to use her newfound skills to carve out a niche for herself.

Enneagram: 7w8 so/sp

“I just love how you guys know exactly what you wanna do, and you spend your whole life getting really good at it. I wish I was more like that. It’s like every time I get moderately good at something, I just quit and start something new. But I just know my own limits, and I’m not gonna waste my time chasing something that will ultimately be a disappointment for me. That’s not me.” That pretty much sums up her personality. Katy has no interest in doing something for the long haul or that involves hard work; she dabbles in it, gets bored, and moves onto something else. She is all about having fun, which includes being irresponsible (joy riding, borrowing cars that could get her fired if her boss found out about it, spending all night singing in clubs, and partying, even when she has to be at work early the next morning). She has a hilarious sense of humor, but doesn’t see the point in being an “adult.” Though she will complain if others accuse her of a prolonged adolescence because she is stuck in a job going nowhere fast, and has no real ambitions beyond it. She is mouthy, opinionated, and combative under pressure, even though she has a few fears (like heights).  

Beautiful Creatures: Ethan Wate [ENTP 7w6]

Function Order: Ne-Ti-Fe-Si

Ethan is a free spirit, who doesn’t look at things the same way as other people in the small town. He absorbs new ideas eagerly, reading and gathering them from books and attempting to quote them to imrpess people, but frequently bungling his recitation (inferior Si poor memory). The more abstract the concept, the more he likes it (after reading one such statement, about how most people are meandering through life and will never find their purpose, he concludes the author “is a god!”). Unlike Lena, Ethan realizes quickly she has the power to choose her own destiny. Even when the odds tell him differently, Ethan insists she has nothing to fear from the future and that she can change it to reflect whatever she wants – family tradition be damned! When Macon asks him about his future, Ethan shrugs and says the only thing he knows is he wants to attend college—any collage, anywhere. He is a cynic, not easily insulted, and somewhat frank in his mocking assessment of the small town, its numerous churches, its relentless bigots, and its flaws. When people don’t like him, he just shrugs it off. Ethan takes insults with a grin, able to push them aside and stick to what seems logical to him. He thinks he can figure out a way out of any situation, which is why Lena’s obsession with a single potential (negative) outcome strikes him as so strange. Ethan just can’t help “being charming.” He is warm, outgoing, funny, and eager to make friends. He can placate people, compliment them, and get along well with anyone, refraining from judgment but also without his own pervasive sense of identity. Ethan is good at encouraging Lena, and upset when she shuts him out. He questions his own reactions (“Should I be insulted by that?”). He has no problem with emotional honesty. For the most part, Ethan cannot wait to get out of the Podunk town of his youth. He has zero sentimentality for it. But he enjoys bringing up quotes from movies, making pop culture references, and often falls back on his mother’s advice.

Enneagram: 7w6 so/sx

Ethan says the worst thing in the world is to feel like you are not moving forward and your life has stagnated; he finds the small town where people get ‘stuck’ because they’re too stupid to leave to be suffocating and cannot wait to escape out into the real world. When facing pressures at home (a parent who never leaves his room, and Lena worrying about her future), Ethan just wants to cut and run – get in the car and drive away and never look back. He is playful, always trying to connect through humor and charm, direct, won’t take no for an answer, and assertive. Less fearful than just refusing to accept that there’s nothing to be done and no way to change her life for the better. He looks for the positive – even when she insults him, at least she’s talking to him! This is progress! Ethan feels a sense of obligation to his father, even if he doesn’t enjoy taking care of him (or never seeing him), which is why he has stayed home as long as he has. He’s somewhat cautious of Macon, sensing that he is dangerous, and leaves the house when he senses himself unwanted. He can be a bit quarrelsome with people, pushing against them to see if they will push back.

Paid Request: Hilda and the Mountain King: Hilda [ESFP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Fi-Te-Ni

Hilda is a highly active girl who enjoys the freedom that being a troll gives her, but not the constraints or the lack of being at home with her family and friends. She loves it when she discovers how strong she is, how far she can climb, and what she can do, now that she’s no longer human. She is highly reactive in her environment and always on the go, busy doing things—and not always wisely. She tends to evaluate things on a surface level, in conjunction with what she wants – when she finds a large troll trapped by bells, she never once wonders what the purpose might be, or that he could be a prisoner. Even though she has heard stories about the mountain king, she never thinks the troll might be him or that he’s using her to get out of his prison – she just assumes he means well and intends to turn her back into a human, because that’s what she wants out of life. So she sets about helping him—stealing him troll grog, using pillows to silence the bells, and cutting them free to release him (a combination of Se opportunism, Te direct thinking, and low Ni’s inability to evaluate his intentions). Hilda doesn’t want to be anyone but herself. She is fiercely individualistic and hates to be constrained, but also blames herself when it all goes wrong – seeing that it’s her responsibility to fix the situation and taking it upon herself to understand, communicate with, and reason with the trolls. Since her own experience within the eye caused her to gain understanding, she knows it will do the same for the city watch and throws it onto him, so he will know about the troll mother. Her lower Ni only pieces together the truth at the last minute, just in time to save the day and the town from being destroyed.

Enneagram: 7w8 so/sp

Hilda is headstrong and defiant, often going her own way through life, and trying to see the best in other people – but when that fails, she becomes angry and confrontational. She manages to see the good in the trolls and even in the one who changed her into one, despite being upset about her current situation. She doesn’t like school much, because it limits her ability to be doing the things she wants to do and having fun – and manages to enjoy being a troll, even while working toward returning to her human state (she finds it fun to run around the caves meeting trolls, finding out what they collect and uncovering their hordes, and playing tossing games with them). Her temper sometimes gets the best of her, and she can be very assertive when she needs to be. She’s also highly proactive in going after what she wants, in trying to escape, and in demanding others do the right thing.

Emily in Paris: Mindy Chen [ESFP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Fi-Te-Ni

Mindy is a singer and songwriter who just wants to perform, who left China because she felt stifled under her father’s hand (he is the “zipper king” and she wanted to do her own thing, so now they are not speaking to each other). She earns a paltry living in a drag club, where she performs as a half-boy/half-girl, until she hooks up with a band when she finds out she needs no work visa to sing for them. When she finds out they are singing on the street for tips, she’s excited, because it’s technically thrill-seeking. She becomes competitive when other artists horn in on her territory, but also adapts to the moment and competes with them (mirroring the mime so they don’t lose their audience). She also evaluates things on a surface level first – congratulating Emily on sleeping with a hot guy in her building, assuming the guy who invites her into the band is gay (when she finds out he’s not, they quickly start hooking up). Mindy leaps on a train and hangs out with Emily one weekend, going to spas and having fun in hotels, where she says the best breakup medicine is a one night stand. She left her father and her country because she wanted to ‘do my own thing,’ and be true to her feelings, and live like a penniless musician (even though she’s a billionaire and famous across the world). She’s somewhat absorbed in her own feelings, but hesitates to express them directly, such as when she finds out her dad was at their favorite destination a week ahead of her, and he never said a word. Mindy isn’t sure what to do about it, and finally sends her dad a photo of herself in their favorite spot, to show him he’s “busted.” She can be occasionally blunt in telling people off, but has no real plan for her life beyond the present and her desire to make it as a singer on her own, without her daddy’s help to succeed.

Enneagram: 7w8 so/sp

Mindy is a fun girl, who tends to avoid confronting problems head-on; she will focus on the positive rather than the negative, congratulating Emily on her hookup, rather than thinking it might be problematic, cause trouble with her other relationships, or end in tears. She believes in self-rewards and distractions, such as finding another guy to hook up with if the first one dumps you. She likes to be the center of attention, but isn’t looking to create stability so much as focus on having fun; she brightens up when Emily asks her to a fun weekend, even if it involves helping her keep secrets from Camille. But she can be assertive when she wants to be, and doesn’t back down from a challenge – she assumes if what she’s doing is illegal, she can just outrun the cops. Mindy doesn’t hesitate to go after the guy she wants, or think how it might affect other parts of her life.

Emily in Paris: Camille [ESFJ 7w6]

Function Order: Fe-Si-Ne-Ti

Camille is a warm, friendly, and social girl who immediately makes Emily feel at home, gives her a job in promoting her father’s brand of champagne (and is delighted when Emily can figure out how to use it – for “spraying” / celebrations), and talks to her about all her feelings, secrets, and thoughts about what’s going on in her life. She likes to pamper her friend and take her places, and sees her misadventures as fodder for hilarious conversations rather than life-altering mistakes. She is both aware of what is socially appropriate and extremely up-front about her true feelings, airing them as soon as things happen – she goes from being happy and supportive of Emily, to finding out about her affair, and then confronting her in front of her guests, breaking her champagne glass, and storming away. When Emily tries to make amends, Camille insults her by telling her that her French is ghastly and to leave her alone… but when her father wants Emily to do their ad campaign and refuses to have anyone else do it for them, Camille puts aside her own feelings for the good of her family and “makes nice.” This eventually leads them to starting their relationship over, and making a pact, that neither one of them will be with Gabriel. But she doesn’t keep it; being around him reminds her of how much she likes him and she falls back into the exact same relationship as before. Camille is very aware of French culture and fine with living inside it; she is somewhat shallow at first, focused only on sensual experiences, but over time, we see more and more how rooted in her history she is. She has fond memories everywhere, habits and routines that she keeps up (even if it’s just to meet her friends in a sauna and hang out, naked), a strong sense of familial obligation and duty, and … low Ne awareness. She says Gabriel is different and that ‘something’ is going on, but she can’t put her finger on what it is. She never even considers that Emily might be involved with him, despite them living in the same building, until she finds out Gabriel has given Emily his ‘special pan,’ the one he won’t let her touch, it’s so important to him. Camille never questions her own judgment, or whether she might be in the wrong; she also turns herself into a hypocrite and a liar, when she agrees with Emily that neither of them should date Gabriel, and then goes back on her promise without remembering their pact or apologizing for it. She can be very critical under stress, tearing into Emily for her mispronunciation of French words as part of her insults.

Enneagram: 7w6 so/sx

Camille is good-natured, frivolous, and fun-loving. She also doesn’t want to dwell in sad things, and has to turn them into happy, thrill-seeking adventures. When Gabriel doesn’t call her for a while, though suspicious of what he’s up to, she decides to distract herself by dancing, flirting, and having a one night stand—but she finds out she’s not emotionally ready to move on yet, and winds up crying in a chapel where she wanted to bring Gabriel on a date. She loves to drag others along on fun days to the spa, shopping, to push them at men, and to avoid thinking about her problems. She reframes things into opportunities opened rather than chances missed. Though she loves to gallivant, she is fiercely loyal to her parents and willing to put aside her personal feelings to abide by their wishes, within reason.

Paid Request: Shrek: Donkey [ESFP 7w6]

Function Order: Se-Fi-Te-Ni

At one point, Shrek tells Donkey that not everything is literal; sometimes things (and people) have “layers” of meaning. Donkey does not really understand this, since he sees everything on the surface level of what it is – those stars are just bright dots hanging there, after all. He freaks out when he sees Fiona as an ogre, since he assumes this creature has eaten the princess, but also encourages her to be honest with Shrek. Donkey loves to go new places, have new adventures, and try things – when they reach Lord Farquad’s town, he gets excited about seeing the little “information center” puppets perform a second time. He marches into Fiona’s parent’s castle and makes himself at home,  not to mention tries to make himself at home in Shrek’s place, insisting that tomorrow he’s going to make them waffles. Donkey is a chatterbox, seemingly immune to whether he is annoying other people or not – this self-absorption enables him to drive Shrek insane, since he has to talk about whatever is happening around him. His conversations are often tactless and sometimes downright insulting, as he points out the obvious (that Fiona sure is ugly, that Shrek drives people away for a deep emotional reason, and that he thinks what Shrek means is that Lord F. has a really little…). Donkey doesn’t like to hurt people’s feelings unintentionally and asks how to let Dragon down without hurting her feelings, in case it ever happens again (before he winds up married to her!). To save his life, he flatters her and talks about what a beautiful Dragon she is (fumbling his way through flattering her and also warning her that she doesn’t have permission to tug on his tail!). Donkey can become quite blunt when he’s mad, angrily insisting that Shrek doesn’t need any other best friend (he wants Puss in Boots to go away), or insulting people. His inferior Ni is quite poor. Donkey never reads between the lines well, except to sense that Fiona and Shrek are falling in love (he catches them trading romantic looks and accurately interprets the situation). Donkey doesn’t understand why Dragon is so testy until she turns up with a bunch of babies and he realizes it was just pregnancy hormones. He struggles to accept Shrek’s metaphor about onions and ogres, and tries to convince him to pick something more people like (such as parfait!).

Enneagram: 7w6 so/sp

Donkey’s brain runs about a thousand miles a minute, keeping him constantly entertained – but also easily bored, since it takes him no time at all to find a journey tedious and start asking when they’re going to arrive so they can start having some FUN. He is full of wild enthusiasm for most things (as long as they aren’t too dangerous; he hates heights), has a happy-go-lucky tendency to ignore the bad in favor of the good (he sticks around with Shrek, choosing to see the good in him, rather than being put off by how mean and obnoxious he is at first), and is always excited about new things. But… his 6 wing really likes to have Shrek around to protect him, is easily terrified and convinced to turn into anxiety (one eye twitch makes him convinced he’s going to die), is very focused on doing what’s best for his friends, and feels the happiest when he’s part of a nice little group, whom he is especially loyal toward.

Last Christmas: Kate [ENFP 7w6]

Function Order: Ne-Fi-Te-Si

Kate is completely unrealistic about her own talents most of the time, including insisting that she is just going to “wing it” wherever she goes (she has never ice skated before, but will just show up and wow them, she says…). She draws weird parallels between things, coming up with colorful metaphors that she admits are somewhat disturbing, though she didn’t intend for them to be that way. She is forever thinking about doing something new and interesting, and has a lot of ideas about prospective careers (mostly in show business). Kate is also moody, and somewhat self-centered; she ignores the rules set up by her friends, and brings a one-night stand into their home despite being told to behave herself. She is trying to avoid her deeper feelings about her operation through distractions, but also is wallowing in her feelings—she doesn’t want to talk to her mom, never thinking about how that might be painful for her mother, to not know where she is. Kate starts to grow and mature when she learns to focus on other people and their needs, by volunteering at the old folk’s home, auditioning homeless people for a musical, by encouraging her boss to date and asking more questions about her, and going out of her way to spend time with her mom. Kate isn’t very rational in her decisions, constantly over-estimating her ability to talk her way out of everything, but also can be incredibly blunt. She rather rudely tells one guy to go away, that he’s a “creep” and this is “weird” (that he wants to go out with her). She also has very little sentiment, and has to force herself to care about her heritage or feel proud of it or want to connect to it. She neglects details at work (though she’s a charismatic sales girl) and leaves the door open and unlocked while rushing to an audition, so they wind up getting robbed. She can be clumsy and forgetful, tripping over things, running into trash bags, and falling on the ice.

Enneagram: 7w6 so/sx

Kate is running away from admitting to her feelings about having had a heart transplant. Rather than sit down and deal with her feelings of emptiness and how she is alive because someone else is dead, she has been willfully avoiding it through preoccupations, manic obsessions, binge-drinking, bedding total strangers, and trying to maintain an optimistic, care-free attitude of disassociating from her disappointment and pain (including her culture, which she denies by having changed her name). She is avoiding answering her mother’s phone calls, because she doesn’t want to deal with her over-protective nature, or admit to the mistakes she has made along the way. She only returns home after prolonged protests, and being kicked out of everywhere else; she has no choice but to go back to her old room and home. She is over-enthusiastic about her talents and skills, but crushed by rejection, and somewhat insecure. When others get upset with her, she shrinks rather than gets angry with them. Kate only matures when she moves up her line to 1, becoming more responsible, taking responsibility for her mistakes, stops running away from her problems, and learns to look after other people, rather than be self-absorbed.

White Christmas: Phil Davis [ENTP 7w6]

Function Order: Ne-Ti-Fe-Si

Phil feels somewhat frustrated by being tied down to his work; Bob keeps them on a pretty consistent working schedule, and doesn’t give him much time for himself – so he gets it into his head that he needs Bob to fall in love, so that he can settle down with a nice girl and give Phil the alone time he craves (to meet people of his own!). He tries to interest Bob in anyone he can find, regardless of who they are, despite Bob pointing out that the “dames” they meet in show business “aren’t interested in settling down.” When he sees Bob has taken a liking to a girl, he immediately leaps on the situation and contrives to bring them together. He abandons their previous plans for the holidays to chase the girls to another state, and then conspires with Judy to bring Betty and Bob together. Bob accuses him of having used ‘emotional blackmail’ from ‘saving Bob’s life’ (saving it, Bob says, does not give him license to run it). Phil is much more of an extrovert than Bob, way more social, better with people, and far more interested in… well, meddling with his best friend’s life. He coaxes them into a relationship by at first feigning an interest in Judy and then taking it seriously and falling for her. He is upfront with his feelings, a little bit underhanded in how he angles his friend into position, hoping for the outcome he wants, and able to fool people by pretending things that are not true (but become so, the more he leans into them, such as developing an enjoyment of kissing Judy). He’s somewhat traditional, but also opportunistic – leaping into action quickly and resolving immediate problems through direct action; he gives away their tickets, helps the girls get away from an arrest warrant (endangering them in the process, as Bob points out), takes their place in their last show of the night (to hilarious effect), and falls in love without realizing it himself.

Enneagram: 7w6 so/sp

Phil is an energetic and funny man, who is eager to engage with life—who complains that Bob doesn’t go out with him enough, or see enough girls, who seems to have a reputation with the ladies, and who has a good heart despite his absurd behavior at times (dressing up and taking on the girls’ routine as a distraction and for a laugh). Phil doesn’t really think about the consequences of his actions at times, and doesn’t seem to mind that some of their behavior might land them in jail, but does seem a little stressed at the idea that they might be draining their resources to provide the general with a show on Christmas (he curiously asks “how much money???” several times, when fearing it might cut into their bottom line).

The Last Duel: Pierre d’Alençon [ESTP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

Pierre is a prince in his own right, a cousin to the king, who has been given a principality to rule over and defend… and all he really wants to do is carouse, host parties, and entice his friends into sexual deviancy, since it’s better to do it with others than alone. He tends to react to things on a dismissive level, such as when Le Gris says they are being sued because the pair of them stole land out from under Jean, Pierre simply says that does not matter, Jean will have no power; he will hand the garrison over to Le Gris instead, and strip their rival of his authority. He does not deal with Jean wisely, in that he often dismisses or mocks him to his face, not realizing the emotional impact this will have on their dynamic. He is not a healthy man, in that his womanizing and selfish behaviors cause pain to those around him; in a sense, he becomes partly responsible for Le Gris’ reprehensible behavior, by encouraging him to take part in sexual games and behaviors in which they use women however they please. He has very little humanity or compassion, since at the last duel, he says hopefully this will end in a short time, with Le Gris ripping out Jean’s testicles with his bare hands. He takes very little about his position seriously, and prefers to let Le Gris handle all of the dull things like keeping his life in order, collecting taxes, negotiating with locals, and running the kingdom, so that he can drink and have a good time. He thinks through the consequences of none of his actions, but feels more himself when he has others in the room in agreement with him, as co-conspirators in his schemes and morally questionable lifestyle. In one scene, he isn’t content to let Le Gris do his work, but interrupts him just to aggravate him, and then intentionally destroys some of his work, so he has to start over again.

Enneagram: 7w8 sp/sx

Pierre just wants to enjoy himself, in whatever way he pleases—whether that is to watch his knights insult each other, to read a book of saucy poetry in Latin to his friends, to have four naked women in his bed at once, or to invite Le Gris into one of his orgies. He takes nothing seriously and assumes everything will go his way; when Le Gris is concerned about the affect something will have on his reputation, Pierre dismisses it and tells him to take off his pants and come enjoy the girls. He stays up late partying, drinking, and having sex with prostitutes, but can also be a mean man when roused; he sees nothing wrong with punishing those whom he dislikes, banning them from his court, and wishing the worst on them, when it comes to open combat.

Paid Request: Ratatouille: Remy [ESTP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

Remy has a highly developed sense of taste and smell, and has been experimenting from food from a young age; he alone slows down enough to savor each bite, to make a big deal out of every flavorful experience, and then to combine foods. He has such a knack for this, he’s an excellent cook without even needing any experience with it, other than the few recipes he has looked at. He goes off his instincts when choosing herbs, dishes, and foods. He also figures out easily how to control Linguini by pulling on his hair, and demands that he blindfold himself so the rat can figure out how to ‘work’ his arms while sitting on the top of his head. He is somewhat reckless at times; he refuses to leave the house while being shot at without grabbing the cookbook, then goes off into Paris once he loses his family and makes an entirely new life for himself; he fixes the soup that Linguini ruins, and improvises elsewhere in the kitchen… but is also reckless in how he decides to punish Linguini for their falling out in how he allows his family to steal food from the kitchens (exposing them all to Linguini when the young man unexpectedly comes back to talk to him). Remy is all about tastes and sensations, but not always about appreciating others’ feelings – he is rather harsh to his cousin and his father, arguing with him about the semantics of what they are doing (his father insists it is not stealing, Remy insists that it is; then he goes on to steal, repeatedly, from neighbors, the kitchen, etc). He gets so focused on his task that he ignores how he is causing Linguini to come across to others, embarrassing him in the process. He bites him raw during their first cooking stint, then doesn’t really care about his feelings when controlling him in the kitchen by yanking his hair. Remy wants praise for his work, and to become successful, but also feels a sense of obligation to his family; he doesn’t want to be with them, and cater to their needs, but does include them in his attempts to run a successful restaurant, and employs them to do all the cooking in a crisis. He manages to help Linguini become more of a success, for himself, and to build a relationship with Collette, but is also awkward emotionally. Remy has very little forward thinking; he is often reactive, and doesn’t ponder his future beyond his desire to become a chef, in his genuine belief that ‘anyone can cook’ (even a rat).

Enneagram: 7w8 sp/so

Remy is all about wanting to savor each moment of every day, live life to the fullest, and have the finest of everything – he is not content to stay at home where it’s safe, is easily bored when his father employs him as a food-snifter, and once he realizes he is in Paris, he eagerly throws himself into the midst of it. Remy wants it all – success, to be a cook, and to eat all the finest things the world can offer. He is also a bit self-centered, driven, and has a short fuse. When Linguini crosses him, Remy wants revenge. They squabble all the time about Remy violating Linguini’s sense of self (he sees no moral issues with controlling Linguini even when he’s asleep, and using his body to cook with). He also does whatever he wants to do, whether or not it is safe, and in the process, gets his entire family thrown out of their home (oops).

Paid Request: Pocahontas: John Smith [ESTP 7w8]

Function Order: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

John Smith looks forward to reaching the New World, because of the “hundreds of adventures that await… and I don’t intend to miss them!” He has been to dozens of new worlds, met thousands of people, and is still eager to engage with the environment, but needs Pocahontas to teach him to do so in a less-superficial way. Smith leaps into instant, fearless action at all times, running around a ship in the middle of a storm, plunging into the sea to save Thomas from drowning, telling his friends “Come on, boys, we didn’t come here just to look at [the land]!” He knows he is being followed in the woods, and confronts Pocahontas, but her beauty makes him lower his weapon. He slips out of the settlement to meet her, knowing it’s forbidden and that the governor has ordered anyone who leaves or fraternizes with the Indians shot. He assumes he can get out of any scrape, by somehow turning it to his advantage. Smith is friendly, personable, and eager to engage, but also somewhat clueless about other people’s feelings. In his excitement to tell Pocahontas about London and other places, he bluntly tells her that she only likes her basic life in the village here, and their houses, because doesn’t know any better as a savage. He is then confused when she gets upset with him, having taken this personally, and tries to smooth things over by apologizing. He easily helps Thomas much of the time, mentoring and inspiring him, and seeks peace among the Indians rather than violence, once she teaches him better. Being around Pocahontas makes him adopt her ways and beliefs. Smith prefers to take things at face value; he doesn’t understand what Grandmother Willow means by the “ripples” until Pocahontas explains them to him, and doesn’t see the bigger picture until it becomes evident, that the two civilizations need to work together in order not to destroy each other.

Enneagram: 7w8 so/sx

Smith just wants an adventure, and has traveled all around the world to find it, never settling down, tying himself to a woman, or staying in a place too long. He quickly climbs off the ship and goes into the wood, treating its new people and creatures with humor and excitement. His song is all about craving adventure and looking for excitement, not wanting to miss out on anything life has to offer. Though cautious at first about Pocahontas, he quickly bonds with her, wants to believe the best of her and her people, and argues that the Indians don’t have the gold. He has a mild temperament, but is also decisive and rebellious. Smith sneaks away to meet her because he wants to, and isn’t afraid of the governor’s firm edicts or threats of punishment and death. He can’t stand by and let Thomas die for his mistake, so he tells him to run away, and chooses to take the burden of his punishment upon himself instead.

Black Panther: Shuri [ENTP]

Function Order: Ne-Ti-Fe-Si

Shuri tells her brother, “nothing exists which cannot be improved on”; she is never content with anything just as it is, but how she can improve on and innovate it; she redesigns him brand new suits and gadgets in her high tech lab, she keeps her eye on the bigger picture, and designs all kinds of ‘useful toys’ to keep his safe – including remote-controlled cars and planes that she loves to take out and test-drive herself. She has utter disdain for ‘old school’ technology, since she believes there is always a way to push forward. She agrees with Nakia that they need to step out of their old ways, embrace a brighter future, and become more involved with the outside world, rather than be isolationists. She’s a brilliant, logical inventor who spends most of her time in the lab, tweaking and improving on existing tech… or creating new stuff. Shuri also has a witty, extroverted side which loves to semi-insult people with fondness behind it (she calls the FBI agent a “colonizer,” freaks people out by raising her hand at the challenge and then asking if they could wrap all of this up and go home since “this corset is really uncomfortable”). Her emotional ideals are based in what is best for her people, and she is concerned for their general welfare… but it’s not her top interest or drive. She has zero respect for ‘the way things have always been,’ no interest in their beloved traditions her brother holds so dear (she mocks the crowning ceremony and pushes him to ‘get out more’) and no interest in the details, other than to remain attentive to her creative projects and re-design some of the same things several times, to force her brother to ‘upgrade’ to cooler stuff.

Enneagram: 7w8 so/sx

Shuri is playful and outgoing, and always tries to make a joke out of everything; she openly mocks her brother for freezing up and not being able to talk when he meets his ex, taunts him with how much smarter she is than he is, cracks a hilarious joke / complaint at the height of a tense emotional confrontation (whether T’Challa will become king or not; she urges them to wrap it up so they can all go home!), and actively pranks him by setting him up in the lab to punch his own suit, then punch it a second time – and go crashing across the lab. She even video records it for her own personal amusement later. Shuri is aggressive, confrontational, and has no interest in what others think of her; she is sometimes inappropriate in front of people (dismissive of her mother, and of their traditions), upfront about her feelings (whether or not it’s the right time and place), and urges her brother to kick Erik’s butt and show him who the king is! She is fearless and rushes into combat, even if it isn’t her forte unless she has a technologically advanced weapon to help her win.