The Nevers: Amalia True [ISTP 8w9]

Function Order: Ti-Se-Ni-Fe

Amalia doesn’t allow personal feelings to get in the way of doing what must be done, and keeping her emotions in check. She will work with people she doesn’t like, because it gives her an advantage—inviting members of a street gang to come join them, saying they should let Maladie die instead of trying to rescue her, because she’s a psychopath, and even asking an upper-class government lord to help her figure out a crime, by playing the assassin and telling her why he wants her (the victim) dead. When accused of not dealing with her feelings over a girl’s death, Amalia says that crying about her won’t help her now; she’s gone, and all they can do is avenge her. She feels most herself when in physical action and is quick to leap into it – attacking Maladie when she takes Mary, engaging in fisticuffs whenever she finds anyone problematic, setting off into London’s streets alone to track down murderers, thieves, and other ‘Touched,’ and using sex as an outlet for her physical energy (she admits she has one night stands). Amalia sees things on a surface level and acts quickly, but also tries to ponder what’s behind them; she relies on her hunches many times, knowing that someone is behind an assassination even if he didn’t admit to it, because she read malice into his words. She focuses on the larger picture involved with an assassination, by pointing out that who attended the funeral is less important than who wasn’t at the park; she figures out who the traitor is, even before she takes her along to the warehouse. She also feels angry and distressed that she has no larger purpose in this new body, on planet earth, that no one told her why she is there and what ‘the mission is’ – she feels like she needs a purpose. Her emotions are mostly distant and untouchable, though she does burst into random tears once in awhile (which she hates). She doesn’t have as much compassion as Penance, and more of an ‘eye for an eye’ mentality, but she does allow a former friend to escape unscathed even though she betrayed them. And she won’t allow personal bias to taint her opinion of the woman who runs the orphanage; she sees her as a potential traitor, despite all the good she has done. She doesn’t really have a lot of emotional range, and isn’t sure how to comfort others, so she leaves that to others better suited for it.

Enneagram: 8w9 sp/sx

Amalia admits she is too much to handle, that she fights even when it’s unnecessary, that she sleeps with men and never asks their name, and has a bad temper. When a girl gets killed in front of her, rather than going to a funeral, she goes drinking in a pub and starts a bar fight, because she’s uncomfortable expressing any kind of tender emotions and sees them as a weakness within herself. Unlike her best friend, her method is to use force and beat the crap out of people, rather than forgive them or negotiate with them. But she’s also willing to put aside her temper to get things done – she lets a traitor live rather than shooting her out of compassion (though she resents herself for it), and invites a pyro-girl who has almost killed her a few times to join them for the ‘greater good.’ Amalia flickers between anger, pushing against the authorities, and being calm even in intense situations, maintaining a sense of detachment that allows her to get along with most people, provided they don’t over-provoke her. When she becomes ‘human,’ she is angry enough that it takes her a long time to get out of the asylum, in part because she won’t tone down her foul language.

The Nevers: Frank Mundi [ESTJ 8w9]

Function Order: Te-Si-Ne-Fi

Frank is able to remain detached and attentive to his job, even when he has suffered a tremendous personal loss; he sheds no tears at the funeral of the woman he loves, but instead remains on guard and proactive in chasing down those who killed her. Though he hates Amalia, and finds heir insulting, he brainstorms with her to figure out what’s going on, who is responsible, and allows her to look at his murder board. He hears her about on her abilities and uses that information to help him pursue and detain Maladie, whom he insists will receive ‘true justice’ according to the law, and not the revenge of the police – he threatens anyone who touches her with his own personal punishment. Frank keeps a cool head in intense situations; when he finds Maladie threatening his boss, he tries to talk her into giving him up, by offering a compromise (she will release him; he will take back everything bad he said about her, and then retire from the Force). Frank is dependable and detailed, amassing large amounts of information about crimes to allow him to identify ‘staged’ murder scenes immediately – he knows a body has been moved and a message scrawled on the wall that does not match the other crime scenes, and demands to know the truth of those who moved the body. He arrests and interrogates people, but sometimes delves into unorthodox methods to ensure they remain in jail (he can’t arrest them for threats and harassment, but he can let them assault him and arrest them for that!). Though it takes him a little time, Frank is quite good at piecing together a bigger picture – when Maladie commits suicide at her hanging rather than be rescued, he almost immediately realizes that she wanted them to witness her death, so that she could kill them all; then notices how she intends to do it, and tries to save as many people as he can. Frank has a good heart buried beneath a tough exterior; he has certain lines he won’t let others cross (the abuse or murder of a woman imprisoned, even if she has killed cops in the past). Frank also doesn’t truly hold being left at the altar against his ex-fiancé, because “she had her reasons,” but he does want to know what those are. He almost never shows his feelings.

Enneagram: 8w9 sp/so

Frank is a tough-talking, hard-drinking and unorthodox man that isn’t afraid of anyone or anything, leaps into reckless situations without thought, and doesn’t trust others with information about himself. He admits that his boozing and fighting (which he does for fun; he has made a name for himself as a professional fighter) is probably why Mary did not want to wed him. He’s known for losing his temper, punching people in the face, insulting those in higher positions of authority, and drowning his sorrows in a bottle, which puts his job at risk of termination. He’s aggressive and not afraid to break the rules, but also wants to protect people, even those who don’t deserve it, and is preoccupied with justice. He has a softer and more malleable side that lets him respect Mary’s boundaries and adhere to her wishes (when she says she is tired and asks him to leave, he does so without complaint).

Paid Request: Outlaw King: King Edward I [ISTP 8w9]

Function Order: Ti-Se-Ni-Fe

King Edward does not have much screen time, but is an obvious thinking-dominant with inferior feeling given his rough treatment of his son, the peasants, and the traitor who he has torn apart and the body parts nailed up in towns all across Scotland. Though ISTP and ENTJ are both possible, I ultimately decided on ISTP for one particular reason; he often berates and belittle his son and heir in public, because it stems out of how he sees and feels about him (even on his deathbed), without fully considering the consequences of making his heir look weak in the eyes of the court (low Ni combined with inferior Fe). An ENTJ would be more aware of the long-term need to cultivate his son and form him in a particular direction, rather than simply tearing him apart in front of others. Even in his final minutes, Edward says that he never particularly saw his son as being a good king – an open invitation, in an ETJ’s eyes, for someone to take the throne from him, because it betrays weakness and a lack of faith. He handles people roughly but with an eye on maintaining the throne, turning them into loyal subjects (through force if necessary), and is willing to grant mercy to those who surrender to him (allowing Robert to keep his land; he admires that “you had the courage to come and face me, and the wisdom to obey me”). Edward is a physical man, often out in the field of battle, and at ease in various different environments; he can shift his attention quickly from one thing to another, from accepting the swords of surrendering Scottish lords, to bombarding a castle (“now go get their surrender”), and then setting off on a new conquest. He is also physically aggressive, such as when he sends his son off to battle by slapping him hard across the face with a glove, and instructing him that “this is the last blow that will go unanswered.” The prince also says his father used to beat him mercilessly, to try and turn him into a man. On his deathbed, Edward expresses his final wishes (which are subsequently ignored by his son, who hates him). He has a massive problem with inferior Fe, being generally unaware of other people’s feelings, disinterested in tenderness, and humiliating his son in public on numerous occasions. Even on his deathbed, he doesn’t impart any hopes for his son’s future, merely complains that he had much left to do and laments that such a weak son will take his place. Yet, the prince sees his father as ‘weak’ because he has “mercy” for his enemies; a truth of King Edward, who allowed Robert Bruce and many others keep their land, titles, and estates if they swore fealty to him.

Enneagram: 8w9 sp/sx

The introduction to the film says that they entrusted Edward to give the throne to the rightful heir, but that he “took it by force instead,” giving us a clear picture of him immediately as a ruthless man, aware of power and how to use it. He brutally forced Scotland into submission, stripped many of its larger households of their power, and then gave it to others who were “wise enough” to submit to his authority. He powers through anyone who stands in his way, and finds his son “weak” because he lives a life of excessive indulgence and the pursuit of “pleasure.” He used to beat the boy in an attempt to make a man out of him, and berates him numerous times for being weak. He is somewhat withdrawn, droll, and often angry, but chooses to act rather than wait for life to unfold (after learning about the rebellion, he says he hates the f*cking Scots, and calls for his army).

Paid Request: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings: Xu Xialing [ESTJ 8w9]

Function Order: Te-Si-Ne-Fi

Xialing has never been one to sit back and let life happen to her; when her father would not let her train with the men, she observed them and then taught herself how to fight “better” than anyone else. She took those skills into the real world, where she set up an empire based around high-profile underground fights, which she streams on the dark web—and she rakes in piles of cash in the meantime. She at first wanted to shut down the Ten Rings, but then seized control the terrorist organization and wants to continue her father’s operations—but in her own way. She is straightforward and businesslike, but also has a strong attachment to her father, to her mother, to her mother’s past, and her own childhood experiences. She waited around for six years for her dad to keep his promise to her and come back, and says it took that long for her to decide she was on her own and had to do things herself. Since then, she has cut all ties with both him and her brother—and yet rather than walk away, she gets sucked into taking care of her brother, and trying to save her mother’s people from extinction, after assessing her father’s delusional desire to release their mother from her “prison” as insanity. Even though she went her own way and established her own “empire,” it strongly echoes what she learned in her childhood—and then she gives it up to take on “the family business.” Her main changes include wanting to make it more of a feminist organization, by introducing and training female warriors, something that precluded her from being one of them. In this way, she’s both traditional and non-traditional, falling into the life she wanted as a child, but being open to changing things and taking it in a new direction. She doesn’t show much intuition, but she’s good in a fight. Xialing is also more sensitive about her feelings than she lets on; she cares deeply about her brother and carries the wounds of her family’s abandonment. She has the moral fortitude not to want innocent people to die, but also puts herself first in her personal life – when the building comes under attack, she gets herself out, without a thought for her brother or his friend (at first—she does rescue them from the prison caves).

Enneagram: 8w9 sp/so

Xialing has become hardened through her father’s and brother’s abandonment, and admits that she decided if they weren’t going to look after her, she would teach herself to do everything better than anyone else – and build her own empire, if no one was going to let her inherit one. She asks her brother if he has gone soft when he refuses to kill anyone in a fight, and pulls no punches (literally) when defeating him in the arena. She has also built up an empire around illegal cage fights in the underground, not really caring if they are against the law or that people are getting hurt. But neither can she stand by and let innocents get slaughtered, so she teams up with her brother to stop their father (and winds up taking over his empire, rather than dissolving it—a league of covert assassins). She has an almost supernatural sense of calm detachment, and has numbed herself to many of her childhood memories and emotions, although she always comes through for her brother and his friends in the end (she saves Katy’s life, seeing that she cannot protect herself).

Paid Request: Chang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings: Xu Wenwu [ESTJ 8w9]

Function Order: Te-Si-Ne-Fi

Wendwu rose to power after discovering a set of mythical rings, and promptly formed an army known as the Ten Rings. As a warlord, he conquered many kingdoms over centuries, using his immortality to amass great power and wealth for himself. Rather than appeal to his children to help him rescue their mother from behind a mythical gate, he decides to test them by sending his warriors after them – he tells his son that “I knew they could not kill you, even if they tried.” He says he has “allowed” them to go their own way for ten years, but now it’s time for them to come home, fall in line, and do what he tells them to do. He intends to open a gate and be reunited with his wife, who he believes has been speaking to him from beyond it, and if the village does not allow this, he will kill them all. When his children object, he has them imprisoned in his dungeons. Throughout, his motivations are those of family, of tradition, and of personal beliefs. He says names have power, they connect you to your ancestors; he wants his family to be whole again, and for his children to carry on his legacy. Wendwu gave up his warlord days and his rings of power to settle down and raise a family, and now that occupies much of his thoughts. He somewhat irrationally believes that if he brings back his wife, then his children will return to him and they can all be happy once more. He has studied as much as he can about his wife, her past, and her village, to understand more about it, and now wants to move forward decisively with his plan. Naively, he believes in something that is impossible—his wife is dead, not calling to him from the great beyond. He doesn’t question where the voice is coming from or think that it could be anyone else, he trusts what it knows of him and his desires and chases a dream until it becomes a nightmare. Wenwu is somewhat selfish in that his desires only include what he wants for himself and his family; he won’t listen to anyone else’s please to spare the village, nor did he have any compassion for the thousands of people he has had killed over the centuries. But he also loves his son so much, he sacrifices himself to ensure he survives. Love for his wife drives him to do many things, include giving up his former lifestyle as a ruthless warlord.

Enneagram: 8w9 sp/sx

Wenwu strikes fear into other people’s hearts. Katy says he terrifies her, just by being in the room – and fear caused his children to abandon him, after attempting to please him. He is so callous that he trains his own son to be an assassin and sends him to kill someone as a mere teenager (Katy points out how screwed up that is). He spent many years amassing power for its own sake, always needing to conquer yet another world and bring it into submission, without interest in whether his actions were right or wrong. He isn’t afraid to deal harshly even with his own kids (throwing them into prison for arguing with him). Once he met his wife, the future mother of his children, he merged into wanting to become what she wished of him, so he gave all of that up. He lost himself inside her and has never recovered from it, chasing after a dream in an attempt to restore her to life and make himself whole again, and willfully naïve in his belief that it will make everything right with his children.

Crossbones: Edward Teach / Blackbeard [INTJ 8w9]

Function Order: Ni-Te-Fi-Se

Blackbeard mostly sits on his island, thinking about his ‘vision’ for the future – a civilization without a king, but a governor, where people are free to live without the tyranny of British oppression. He and Tom Lowe trade remarks on the nature of god and the divine, in which he reveals that he has given it a great deal of thought. He sometimes speaks in metaphors and sees himself in an iconic role (he has not replaced the devil, merely thrown him out). Toward the end of the series, you find out he has been working all along on a grand master plan, which has unfolded mostly as he intended (notwithstanding a few human casualties, which hasn’t bothered him at all). He baited and led an old rival to assault the island, so he could kill him and make himself infamous in the process. Having seen this through, it’s unclear what he intends to do with the rest of his life. Blackbeard is very Te in that he expects others to do what they are told, and figure out things for him – he doesn’t want to attempt to figure out the cipher for himself, but instead offers Tom the chance to do it for him, and hands it over to his mistress since she likes puzzles. He sees no point in torturing someone when you can threaten those they care about, and get to the point far quicker and with less unnecessary bloodshed – but he is not above brutal threats and treatment when necessary. He makes rational decisions more than emotional ones, sometimes deciding that people must die for the greater cause or to serve his purpose. He has also established a governing law on the island that has rules by which everyone abides, including himself – as a way to keep order and maintain control. Blackbeard reveals none of his true feelings, never discusses them, but also doesn’t want insincerity from others – he doesn’t want Selima to be his mistress unless it is her choice, and refuses to bed her when he knows she has ulterior motives. His Se is rather poor, in that in hand to hand combat he is easily overpowered and outmaneuvered; but he can be opportunistic and quick to act once he knows what he wants. He takes risks without fear, and is something of a sexual hedonist – often entertaining five or six prostitutes at a time.

Enneagram: 8w9 sp/so

Blackbeard is unapologetic about being the most powerful pirate on the island and about what he intends to do to anyone who crosses him; he believes in revenge more than compassion, and tells Tom Lowe that he has no intention of torturing him for information (it’s pointless) but that he will kill him, and torture anyone he cares about, unless he does his job. He handles most things through force and direct action, and he is dangerous enough that people don’t trust him not to have even those they assume he cares about killed if they threaten to betray him. He has murdered and plundered his way across the seas, and even sets up an old friend to get accused of an assassination attempt against him, leaving him to die a slow and painful death on the gallows, because he can no longer trust him not to betray the cause. Because of his 9 wing, it’s rare that you ever see him truly lose his temper; he is calm, projecting a sense of detached apathy most of the time, surprisingly lenient in certain areas (he doesn’t seem to care that his mistress has slept with someone else, since he isn’t possessive of her in that way). He has numbed many of his emotions and refuses to deal with them.

Crossbones: Nenna Ajanlekoko [ISTP 8w9]

Function Order: Ti-Se-Ni-Fe

Nenna is a rational thinker who refuses to take part in petty revenge that could get them all killed; when she accompanies Tom on a mission, she both notices that he has ulterior motives, and sides against slitting his throat and leaving him to die, because of the repercussions it would have from Blackbeard, who told them to bring him back alive. She has been stealthily stealing from her fellow pirates, holding back booty, and storing it carefully in the jungle, buried beneath a dead man so no one will dig it up and discover her cache. When a prostitute starts blackmailing her, Nenna goes along with it for long enough to set up Tom to take the fall for the woman’s murder. She frames him, cuts off her own finger to implicate him in her own death, and escapes. Nenna is a risk-taker; it’s dangerous to defy the laws of sharing on the island and cheat her fellow pirates, but she does it anyway, in the hope of buying the freedom of her loved ones. She quickly acts against her blackmailer, slitting her throat, shoving her in a box, and leaving her to die slowly. She isn’t above physically torturing people for information by burning the tips of their fingers off or sticking a knife in their gut. Nenna does have a long-term idea of what she wants to do with her money, which keeps her on a single course through life. She rarely displays her emotions, except when she’s upset; she is withdrawn, lacks much compassion for others, and sees nothing wrong in framing someone else to take her fall.

Enneagram: 8w9 sp/sx

Nenna is all about doing what’s best for herself, even if it means swindling her friends. She has no loyalties to anyone, and is one of the ‘scariest’ people on the island; Kate, Tom, and James all acknowledge that if there’s one person as dangerous as Blackbeard among the pirates, it’s Nenna. You do not want to get on her bad side, as she proves by ruthlessly killing someone who has dared to make an enemy of her. She goes along with her long enough to lure her into a compromising position, and then strikes out at her, recognizing that she has all the power and feeling resentful of anyone else attempting to control her. She is private, keeps mostly to herself, and is withdrawn, per her 9 wing’s desire to remain calm and detached at all times.

Crossbones: William Jagger [ENTJ 8w7]

Functional Order: Te-Ni-Se-Fi

Jagger has amassed large amounts of power for himself, both in his personal life and successes (he is rich, favored by the king, and owns a great deal of property) and in his naval career. He orders Tom to accompany the chronometer through the trade route, and if attacked, to kill the man who invented it, destroy the machine, burn the blueprints, and then manipulate his way into Blackbeard’s trust, so he can kill him. He has kept Blackbeard’s wife imprisoned for many years, grooming and preparing her for the day when he can let her loose on the island, and she can assassinate her former lover for him. He has a single-minded pursuit of the pirate, believing even when others argue against it that he survived, is alive, and now he wants proof in the form of his severed head that he has defeated his adversary at last. Jagger is tough, aggressive, and impulsive at times in his pursuit of Blackbeard; he notices and reacts quickly to situations, even when he’s outsmarted – he leaves Kate and the beach to pursue a ship he believes belongs to Blackbeard, only to get too close and watch it explode seconds after he realizes it’s a decoy intended to lure him away from Kate. He shows very little empathy for anyone, but also instinctively knows how to get under other people’s skin and push their pressure points for his own advantage. He tortures Kate for information by burying her alive, he tells Blackbeard that his wife murdered his children, and is angry at the end of his life, to realize Blackbeard has outsmarted him and brought him to the island to die, so that he can be “part of Blackbeard’s legacy.”

Enneagram: 8w7 so/sx

Jagger is unscrupulous and willing to use any method to get what he wants; he recognizes that force gets things done, which means most of his subordinates are afraid of him and even Blackbeard doesn’t want to tangle directly with him. He aggressively pursues his prey even when others deem it impractical. He has enormous energy, isn’t afraid to use underhanded tactics against his enemies, and has black and white thinking; when Tom turns up and appears to have sympathy for all the pirates Jagger intends to wipe out once he reaches the island, Jagger turns on him and tries to kill him. One reason Tom works so hard against him is because he knows Jagger will offer no quarter to anyone once he finds them; he will slaughter them all.

Paid Request: The Suicide Squad: Robert DuBois / Bloodsport [ISTP 8w9]

Function Order: Ti-Se-Ni-Fe

Bloodsport wound up in prison because he accepts money for killing people, a lucrative business that caused him to set out after Superman with a Kryptonite bullet. He thinks his way through problems in search of solutions that won’t get himself killed, but is also amoral in his logical makeup. When his daughter tells him she got arrested for stealing, Bloodsport is more annoyed that she was so stupid as to get caught (he tells her next time to take a buddy along who can play lookout and warn her, so she can get away) and because she got caught stealing something “stupid” (getting caught is dumb, getting caught stealing something that lame is even dumber) than he considers it a “bad” or “wrong” thing to do. He is often straightforward and doesn’t mince his words, calling out others for idiotic statements, but also willing to admit when they are right (even if it annoys him). Bloodsport adapts quickly to his environment and makes decisions in the spur of the moment; he doesn’t hesitate to blast and fight his way through intense situations, and often makes impulsive decisions without thinking them through (such as when he kills people in the village, only to find out they were the Resistance and useful to them / friends with someone who saved one of the squad’s life). He is quick to scale buildings and confidently leads the squad, although he tells the woman who blackmails him into it at first that he is NOT a leader. It proves true, since he keeps to himself and does his own thing within the group more than he tries to control anyone around him. Bloodsport is quick to catch on to things (he realizes his superior is going to use his daughter against him, and is angry about that), but doesn’t appear to ponder beyond what lies on the surface. He has no morals or scruples, but will lose his temper and scream at people when provoked, escalating into a shouting match with his own daughter rather than knowing she needs comfort and reassurances. Emotions are not his thing.

Enneagram: 8w9 sp/sx

Bloodsport is all about power dynamics and heeding them; he is blunt, forceful in his opinions, and unafraid to use force to accomplish whatever task he has set for himself, whether that includes mounting a rescue mission or killing someone on his own squad for going off-book. He has a bad temper, is always telling people off, bucks authority even to his superiors (and the woman who could blow his head off with the touch of a button), and his answers are often decisive. He has a black and white mentality, you are either for him or against him, but he softens around those in need of protection and rises to the occasion. He and his daughter engage in a screaming match when she comes to him in prison to confess she’s in trouble and needs his help. But he also numbs out and ignores any kind of emotions at times, pushing aside his anger to maintain peace when necessary, and calmly going about his business, even if that means scraping gum off the floor in the prison.

Emily in Paris: Sylvie Grateau [ESTJ 8w9]

Functional Order: Te-Si-Ne-Fi

Sylvie is a professional businesswoman in a world of men, who believes in keeping the client happy and in doing business the way “it has always been done.” She immediately hates Emily because of her American sensibilities – her focus on social media, on telling people what to do, and on “showy” things turns Sylvie off, who is old-fashioned in her sensibilities. She even refuses to put in air-conditioning because it’s France, and nobody does that. She is very good at making good things come out of Emily’s mistakes, because she can go in, smooth things over with the client, and give them what they want (often, a financial incentive to stay with them). Sylvie gives orders and expects things to get done, and has very little patience for incompetent, unprofessional behavior and people, but also has a double-standard. She sleeps with some of their clients, but points out to Emily that doing that might be foolish. She accepts French culture for what it is, but is possessive and defensive when her lover sends Emily lingerie as a thank-you. She also lets down the business end of things by giving deals to the men she sleeps with, and offering them preferential treatment—she books a photographer for jobs, and under-charges their most prestigious client because of their fifteen year affair. She is resistant to too much change, but over time, comes to see how Emily has some good ideas on how to modernize and improve things; she welcomes the new clients she brings in, and appreciates what she has to offer them enough to offer her an exclusive, permanent job in Paris. She is also more able to take time off, because of her French attitude—that the weekend is for pleasure, and we do not work on the weekend.

Enneagram: 8w7 sp/sx

Sylvie wastes no time in telling Emily that she doesn’t like her, and does not want her there, but she is willing to put up with her to make their American co-owners “happy.” She sees no reason to be nice, except to clients, she is brutal in her assessment of others’ mistakes, and she will turn over clients to other agents if she feels someone is making a mistake, without seeing a problem in calling them out for being an idiot. She is sexually adventurous and has had many partners, and has no real hang-ups about her “immoral” French culture (it’s what we do in France, it’s how things are). She doesn’t bother to hide her affairs from anyone, and becomes more aggressive in showing off her lovers when others attempt to curtail her. Though blunt, her 9 wing doesn’t see the point in unnecessary drama, so she avoids most of it. She is somewhat withdrawn, private, and goes about her business quietly, even when it means she intends to leave–and take everyone with her. She will go along with things to keep important people happy.

Paid Request: Shrek: Shrek [ISTP 8w7]

Function Order: Ti-Se-Ni-Fe

Shrek is a quick thinker, who prefers direct methods to any other ones – he assesses people and situations immediately upon encountering them and reaches rational conclusions that also amuse himself (him pointing out that the size of the castle is suspicious and might infer Lord Farquad is ‘compensating’ for something). When Farquad dumps all the fairy tale creatures in his swamp, Shrek figures out the fastest way to get rid of them is to go there and have a talk with Farquad, then to beat up the knights told to kill him, and finally, to deliver Fiona to her future husband, after he rescues her from the Tower and defeats the dragon – all of which he finds stupid. He has no respect for tradition, scoffs at the idea of romance, and has a brusque, rude manner (telling Donkey how annoying and obnoxious he is, being inconsiderate of his feelings and needs, and pointing out how he has no friends, and it’s no wonder that’s the case). Shrek is opportunistic in his fighting style, using the environment to get the upper hand (adapting quickly to it; wrestling knights and bashing them into each other, spilling beer so they will slip in it; fighting the dragon by causing her to wrap up her own chain and then putting a sword through it). He evaluates most things on a surface level, believing Fiona was speaking about him when she said a ‘hideous monster,’ rather than questioning it further, and thinking she might be happier if he changed his appearance to one more suited to her kingdom. But he has better Ni than Donkey, when he points out that not all things are superficial, and sometimes they have deeper meaning, in their conversation about the stars. Shrek’s inferior Fe is apparent – he is temperamental and often has emotional upsets and meltdowns, can become petulant and childish when he’s angry, loses his temper in public all the time, and yet… is willing to change his entire appearance and lifestyle for Fiona, when he sees how unhappy she is visiting her parents. Shrek doesn’t care about his life as an ogre if being a human is what she wants; he wants her to have it, and works hard to change his appearance, save her from Charming, and put all to rights (but is secretly relieved when she prefers to be with ‘the ogre I married’!).

Enneagram: 8w7 sp/so

Shrek is, in a word, obnoxious – he has a bad temper and reacts with rage throughout most of the first film, asserting his energy in forceful ways to drive people out of his home and his swamp, throwing Donkey out his front door, scaring people and telling them to run away, standing up to Lord Farquad, even throwing Fiona over his shoulder and marching her off to the castle. In the second film, he gets into an angry argument with her father over the dinner table, ignoring how everyone else is cringing and wanting them to stop their fight. He stands up to his fears by facing down dragons, mocking those in authority over him, and refusing to bend to their orders. He is also earthy, sensual, and enjoys being ‘of the earth’ (unapologetic about his lust for life and enjoyment of it). His 7 wing mocks everything relentlessly and looks for humor in ordinary places (making jokes about Farquad, turning animals into ‘balloon animals,’ mocking people to their faces, and generally keeping it light). Rather than deal with Fiona after they’ve had a fight, he runs off to avoid her, and winds up deciding to change himself for her sake.

Hogfather: Susan Sto Helit [ISTJ 8w9]

Function Order: Si-Te-Fi-Ne

Susan is one of the most sensible characters in the story, always keeping her head and focusing on what is in front of her (which includes the spectral world). She simply wants “a normal life,” but keeps getting pulled back into her old one; she tries to abandon her lifestyle as Death’s granddaughter and embrace a new one as a governess, only to abandon it temporarily to put things right once Death interrupts her usual routine. She relates back to her own experiences now and again, and things she has seen (“This looks like a child’s drawing… Twyla draws like this…” “She thought you would find the misspellings cute”). She takes the most rational solution to every problem (including throwing the poker through Death at a crucial moment); she is annoyed when decisions do not make logical sense, and is driven to make them right. She has a strong moral center that drives her to change Jack and the Beanstalk to reflect her own belief system (condemning Jack as a terrorist and murderer, and leaving the giant’s children without a daddy anymore). Though intensely compassionate, Susan never really talks about her feelings to other people. She objects to Death playacting as something he isn’t (the Hogfather), because it’s inauthentic and “inappropriate,” until she realizes it’s for a greater purpose (to save the Hogfather).When figuring out connections, Susan reasons aloud and makes broad connections; she does not immediately sense what Death is up to or his reasons for doing so; not understanding makes her curious. It takes her some time to put all the pieces together and realize what is happening; she takes her grandfather at face value (“the sun will not come up”) at first, and then is interested in discovering his broader implications (“people need to believe small lies, so they can believe larger ones”).

Enneagram: 8w9 so/sp

No-nonsense and authoritative, Susan has no problem keeping the kids in line, threatening boogiemen and kicking them out of the house, using blunt reasoning to back up her assertions, and telling the Raven to get lost. She ‘scares’ the things that go bump in the night, by taking a poker after them and threatening them with more violence unless they disappear. When the children misbehave, she sighs loudly and sometimes uses her VOICE on them to get them to do what she told them to do. She isn’t afraid of Mr. Teatime, unlike everyone else, and confronts him boldly, forcing him to stop what he’s doing in the Fairy Tale Realm. Susan is calm throughout all situations, handling them without any emotional upsets, even when things have made her angry. In the books, she even has intimidated her teachers and simply refuses to do anything she doesn’t want to do, leaving them perplexed as how to punish her.

Christmas with the Kranks: Luther Krank [ESTJ 8w7]

Function Order: Te-Si-Ne-Fi

Luther is a top notch businessman who decides not to mope around after his daughter leaves and comes up with a plan to put some spice in their lives, a Christmas vacation. He arranges it all, and then has to think fast when it’s off; so he takes logical steps to ensure his daughter has the best Christmas ever (and when he decides to give the vacation away, he “takes care of everything”). He can be blunt at times (“You mean you’re engaged to the guy you’ve known for two weeks that you went down there to shack up with?”). For the most part, up until now he’s been content to do the same things every Christmas… put Frosty on the roof, decorate the house, attend the Christmas party, etc. And deep down, despite his desire for a vacation, he really does like his life predictable and have strong ties to family, tradition, and security. Big plans. Big ideas. Luther becomes obsessed with all the great possibilities of getting away for just one year and doing something new… but when that falls through, he starts looking at other, sometimes needless and naive, options and ways to solve his problem (sold out of good trees? Buy a crappy one… all the needles fall off? Pay the neighbor to borrow his tree… recruit the kid across the street to help steal it…). He really has no empathy for Nora’s insecurities, and no problems turning down neighbors and friends’ emotional appeals (and threats) to do what he wants. Later on, though, we see that he really does genuinely care about people; he’s just awkward in talking about it – but he gives away his marvelous vacation to his neighbors, one of whom is fighting off cancer, even though, in truth, he doesn’t like her husband that much.

Enneagram: 8w7 sp/so

Luther can be forceful when he wants to do something, and unlike his wife, has no problem letting everyone in the neighborhood hate him; he takes some pleasure in thwarting them and taunting them when they get angry about their lack of Christmas cheer. He has an ongoing sort-of feud with the neighbors, and most of them like his wife, and not him; they don’t like how ‘obnoxious’ he can be. Luther has a hard time admitting to his feelings or being vulnerable; the kindest thing he does is send someone on the cruise they were going to take, so it doesn’t go to waste, but it’s hard for him to admit that he’s doing something nice. His 7 wing immediately starts seeking distractions after his daughter leaves, to avoid coping with the sadness of not having her at home. He comes up with crazy ideas, including getting Botox on his face, buying a speedo, going on a cruise, and dumping anything that reminds him of the pain of not having her there for the holidays.

The Last Duel: Sir Jean de Carrouges [ESTP 8w7]

Function Order: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

Jean starts off the story by seeing a bunch of peasants being beheaded across the river, drawing his sword, saying “orders be damned” (it doesn’t matter if the king told them to hold the bridge) – and recklessly charging across the river into action. He refuses to apologize for this action, even though it lost them ground in a battle (he tells the men he won’t make any excuses for them, since they did the right thing). Jean is always quite headstrong in how he rushes into things; he often speaks before he thinks, alienating people in the process whom it would be wiser to befriend. He reads things on a surface level and reacts to them, becoming angry and jealous when his friend inherits a great, beautiful swath of land, which he then covets. He is quick to react to changing situations, whether that is his prowess on the battlefield (and he eagerly leaps into action), his furious attempts to get a stallion away from a mare he does not want bred, or in his final duel, where he manages to withstand a brutal knife wound to the upper thigh. Jean sees things in terms of gaining an advantage; he has no interest in the war, but joins it because “I need money”; he insists on being paid, rather than staying home with his wife. Jean marries a woman because her father can give him an enormous dowry to go with her, which will help ease some of his financial problems, but he winds up being a distant husband, oblivious to her feelings and sometimes rude about her inability to bear children. Jean has rather childish emotions; for no real reason at all, when provoked, he lashes out at people, in one situation being furious that Le Gris made a joke about him, and insisting that his rival call him ‘sir’; he is obsessed with forms of address, and his self-worth comes from his family’s good name and social standing, rather than his own sense of values. He also uses scandal tactically against Le Gris; knowing he will not win in the local court, due to Pierre’s bias, Jean tells everyone he knows about the assault, and urges them to spread it far and wide, to gain widespread hatred toward his enemy, which will force the king to settle their dispute. Jean has no real long term thinking and no interest in the mundane details of being a knight; planning for the future bores him.

Enneagram: 8w7 sp/so

Jean sees himself in a more favorable light than others do; he wants to think of himself as a champion of the people, and demands respect, not realizing that by asserting his constant anger and resentment, others such as Le Gris view him as a temperamental child. He often loses his temper and insults people in more powerful positions than he is, because he is not afraid of them and assumes they cannot hurt him, with the result that he is banished from court. When he finds out about his wife’s rape, he grabs her by the throat, chokes her, and demands to know how she brought this upon herself and if she had any part in it. Then, he wants to grind her rapist into the dust, from a selfish perspective (he wonders aloud if there is any part of his life that Le Gris will not touch – essentially, making the assault about him and his feelings and his anger, rather than her needs). He is a brutal man when roused, mercilessly killing his former best friend when Le Gris refuses to admit to his guilt, lashing out Le Gris in public when he refuses to call Jean ‘sir’ as given his knighthood, and mistreating his wife through sheer self-absorption and neglect. He also has a nature that takes no interest in being at home; he roams around the world, looking for things to do… and he has a 7 wing tendency to rewrite narratives to cast himself in a more honorable light. In his perspective, Jean is a man obsessed with goodness and virtue, who puts his wife ahead of his own needs and is tender with her, when in reality, he is the opposite—a cold and inconsiderate man focused on fulfilling his own physical desires. But he couldn’t live with himself, if he saw the truth of himself, so he denies it. He also just assumes he will defeat his adversary, when it comes to physical combat, without ever thinking he might be wrong—if he dies, his wife gets burned at the stake!

Paid Request: Black Panther: Erik Killmonger [ESFP 8w9]

Function Order: Se-Fi-Te-Ni

Erik likes to do things himself; he confidently walks into a museum, attracts the attention of the guards and the expert on the relics in the room, then has his men swarm in and kill them all, in his quest to reclaim the iron ore ‘stolen’ from his nation. He admits to the others that he has spent his entire life in military operations, destabilizing entire countries by taking out their resources, but his main motivation has been revenge for his father’s execution. Erik challenges T’Challa in open combat and brutally defeats him, breaking his body, his will, and then throwing him off a cliff. He also wants to change the world, but in the most violent way possible—an irrational scheme to spread around their weapons to the marginalized and oppressed people of the world (whom he identifies with, due to his own traumatic childhood, his deep feelings of resentment about slavery, and the color of their skin), so they can ‘rise up and slaughter their oppressors and their children… and make us the most powerful nation on earth.’ He has no ability to sense the logistical impossibilities of this, no plan in place for what to do after it happens, and no interest in what could transpire as a result. Erik spends much of the film looping mercilessly in to Te, and ignoring his feelings other than his resentment, anger, and sense of indignation that others do not consider the torment, suffering, and needs of people who ‘look like me/us’ all over the world. He has spent years training in the military and killing people, to prepare him to kill his cousin. When the man he wants to kill tries to use his girlfriend as a shield, Erik shoots her in the face, then tracks him down and shoots him, delivers his body to the border, and demands to see the king. He asks his coconspirator why he didn’t just shoot someone ‘right here,’ rather than ‘over there’ (why give him false hope?). He is neither reasonable in his assessment of others, nor tries to unite them; instead, his tactic is to hand them weapons and have them kill their enemies. He ruthlessly climbs to power through brutal tactics, and wastes no time taunting his enemies, or attempting to appeal to their emotions or bond with them. He chooses his death because “it is better to be dead than enslaved” (imprisoned). Everything he does works toward a singular vision of arming the world to rise up against its oppressors (and become the oppressors) but he has no specifics beyond global armament.

Enneagram: 8w9 so/sx

Erik has disconnected himself from his heart, and adopted a self-perception of being a ‘rescuer of the oppressed,’ but he does it all through force, domination, and violence. He ignores sentiment and sensitivity in favor of ruthlessly eradicating his rivals and anyone who stands in his path; he treats others as indispensible in pursuit of his goals and doesn’t mind killing a woman who just hours before was in his arms, kissing him. He has become so rigid in his views, that you are either with him or against him; he gives fuel to his rage by believing that everyone should have the right to slaughter their ‘oppressors,’ without thinking about the innocent people who might be killed in the process (are their children to blame for their sins?). He demands that they destroy the purple hearts, so no one else can gain additional powers and strength who might defeat him; Everett says he learned techniques in the military about destabilizing nations by attacking their resources and generating chaos, so they would collapse. He remains unemotional, unaffected, and uninterested in anything outside his main purpose. He refuses to let anyone save his life at the end, because it would make him ‘beholden’ to his murderer; he would rather die than admit he was wrong about T’Challa or any of his decisions.