Am an I an Enneagram 2? What does it mean to be an Image type? What’s a good contrast between 2w1 and 2w3? How are self-preservation 2s, social 2s, and sexual 2s different from each other? This in-depth analysis answers all of your questions!
INSIDE THIS POST:
THE 2 AS AN IMAGE TYPE
Image types want the world to appreciate them for their authentic self, but for them to feel seen, you must witness them in a way that reinforces what they value in themselves; thus, you mirror it back to them and affirm their self-image. To accomplish this means they deliberately and constantly edit the outer self (their appearance, how they dress, act, talk, walk, etc.) and their inner self (choosing which emotions to focus on) to reinforce their preferred traits and erase all that don’t live up to their self-ideal. They see themselves as being on stage and want to show their best self to the audience by altering what they can control to match what they desire for themselves. They show their value to you through how they act and represent themselves (it’s always on their mind), and by correcting your wrong impressions about them by replacing them with their own narrative. They want you to see them as their finest self and admire it, which keeps them in a recurrent state of self-tweaking to refine their image and externalize what’s held inside.
You’ve never experienced love until a 2 has loved you. They saturate your soul with affection while they kindle your heart and look after all your needs. The warmest and most selfless of the Image types, 2s are loving, charitable, and kind by default. They focus on the best in themselves and in others, and look for ways to encourage, assist, or champion you onward, rather than tear you down with criticism. It does not cross their mind to abandon you in your hour of need, to ignore your cry for help, or to prioritize themselves over you.
They are the first to volunteer their aid and the last to go home. If you need them to take care of your kids, drive you to a doctor’s appointment, help you decide what to wear, or hold you while you cry after a breakup, they will be there for you, ready to love, support, or carry you, with the belief that you are fierce, wonderful, and will emerge from this a stronger, more powerful person.
They greet others with the hopefulness that their love, goodness, devotion, guidance, or help is exactly what this person or situation needs to achieve the best outcome. 2s must heal, soothe, and make better whomever and whatever they meet that triggers an emotional response in them. If they see a need, they want to fill it then and there. It feels right to do so; a good person would answer this need, and because they are a good person, they do it without hesitation.
Since they’re in tune with anticipating and meeting others’ needs, 2s know what you need before it even crosses your mind and show up with it. They can’t ignore a need if they see it from those they care about, so they rush in to be of help, come to the rescue, or to provide guidance, financial assistance, or emotional support. They take pride in how they fully embody love by being its physical agent in the world. They are idealistic, cheerful, emotional, easily touched by happiness or suffering, and feel as if they are here to ease the needs and grief of others, through loving them in a way that is special to the 2’s particular gifts and talents.
Because they invest so much of their self-worth in how generous they are, it’s hard for a 2 to be alone, not feel as if their loved ones appreciate them, or as if they’re taken advantage of by those who take them for granted. If people appreciate the service for itself, and see it as a task anyone can provide, that is not sufficient for a 2. They like to be seen as the one person who can do this for you. It’s painful for them to be told no, or for others to reject what they offer, since it comes from their heart.
2s know there is never a time when someone won’t need them. There’s no end to the tasks 2s perform for their loved ones. Because they are self-sufficient and competent, in their absence, things don’t get done. They take their role as “the giver” so seriously it’s hard for them to accept help (they’ll never ask; and if they do, they’ll only ask once) or to let others help them, because it’s stealing their identity.
Image types identify what seems valuable and desirable in them and amplify it to embody their preferred self. 2s want to live up to the impossible standard of being a living embodiment of love; a person without personal needs or ulterior motives, who loves others with their whole heart. Someone good and altruistic, who puts their loved ones first in all they do. Their love, kindness, and selflessness are authentic, but 2s self-edit to make it truer, by pushing themselves to become better and more holy. And they get hurt in the process.
Somewhere along the road of life, 2s delved deep into themselves and saw their natural goodness and enormous capacity to love and serve others as the best way to earn the love, attention, and approval they need to feel seen. The tragedy is, the more they give, the more others take them for granted, and the less a 2 gets their own needs met, which is to feel loved and accepted for who they are outside of what they “offer.” A 2 does not know who they are unless they can show up with what they know you need. The thought of being loved for “just existing” bewilders them, since it does not seem possible. If a 2 wants to be your friend, it’s automatic for them to figure out what they can offer you. 2s don’t think they will receive love unless they earn it with good behavior and by being selfless. That means putting aside all their feelings and needs, to meet the needs of their chosen few. The internal reframing process is swift and automatic, to edit the thoughts or feelings that run counter to this ideal way of being. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here, taking care of you right now!
2s believe they are essential to the happiness, survival, or wellbeing of their loved ones, so they make sacrifices out of love others don’t ask them to make, by assuming it’s what must happen to ensure a good outcome. 2s give their relationships everything, but feel used, resentful, or bitter if others don’t respond with love, attention, or gratitude. They may emphasize the good they do while feeling hurt, angry, or resentful inside.
Rather than realizing they can’t be completely altruistic, a 2 pushes themselves to live up to an impossible standard. A need to be the most loving person anyone has ever known means they counter any impulse that feels “selfish” with others-focused action. They judge themselves for wanting things they haven’t “earned” by being good. If they want it and feel selfish wanting it, they give you one too. That lets them feel good about sharing and deny that they wanted it. A 2 may even tell themselves that you wanted it in the first place.
The 2w1
2s are concerned with how they interact with others, but 1s know to get things done right, you must create friction. 2w1s are interested in doing for others, but in having and maintaining a high personal standard while doing it. They want to obey their inner sense of how things should be done. It’s hard for them to see injustice and cruelty, as it strikes them as wrong in the body and in their heart. 2w1s use their anger to make good things happen and consider themselves as the only person who knows what the best outcome looks like.
They’re helpful idealists who think love or kindness will solve any problem. Reality would be a better place if we all looked for ways to help and serve each other, and held ourselves and others to internal goodness. It feels right to them to lead others toward a better way of existence, to help them find a higher purpose in life, or to love them into a superior version of themselves. 2w1s may be unaware of their own critical nature, or see themselves as more positive than they come across to others. They want to achieve a perfect world, but the only control they have is over themselves and their slice of life, so they try to live up to their ideals within it. 2w1s feel frustrated at corruption or cruelty, but can’t look away. They must dive into it, draw attention to it, and do something about it, to push whatever it is toward a better version that lines up with their idealism.
2w1s know they’re good people who do good things. But it’s not enough to be loving, it has to get done “right.” This inner standard tells them how things could be in a perfect state. 2w1s feel they need to self-contain, protect themselves, and curate their responses. They have impossible standards, but craft any criticisms toward others to contain hope and make an emotional impression that influences the person to change. I’m disappointed in you, because I know you can do better.
In their mind, no one is better equipped to do things “right” than they are, and others can’t love or care for people the way they can. They can’t embody love and principles to the 2w1’s degree. Their heart tells them what to do and they follow it. It is impossible for them to fathom doing otherwise. It’s right to improve the quality of others’ lives, and to use their gifts to bring order out of chaos.
They live both outside of themselves as an Image type, constantly monitoring and adjusting their presentation, and inside their Body, which gives them a heightened emotional responsiveness to what happens in their environment. When 2w1s experience emotion, it turns into an internal pressure that drives them to act. It feels so immediate to see a need and fill it in the right way, they don’t stop to think how they know. Their anger at this being wrong, unfair, or bad alerts them, and their instincts tell them what to do.
The 2w3
All Image types decide things from their emotions, but a 3 ignores their feelings to “get things done.” This means 2w3s are often out of touch with their real needs and feelings, in their desire to master whatever they are talented at and use it to the benefit of others.
All 2w3s believe you will love them, because why would you not love someone so good and kind? They think, “Either you love me, or you just don’t know me yet.” In their belief they can win anyone over they want by being charming, they greet the world with the full confidence that what they bring to the table is exactly what others will want or need. They offer help and positivity to fix what’s wrong, inspire you, and encourage you to set and meet your goals. Maybe they are here to teach you self-confidence! 2w3s have specific things they want to achieve, and move forward assuming they can get it done, and others will appreciate their efforts or admire their talent.
As double Image types, 2w3s care about how things look, want to refine and cultivate their talents to the best of their ability, know how to market themselves, and are aware of how they want to come across and how others respond to their image. It’s not essential for everyone to like or approve of them, just the people they love, want to attract, or respect. 2w3s are not above altering themselves to be marketable, and try to “become” whatever they deem valuable, but never lose sight of their intentions along the way. There is always an envisioned result in mind. They can be super competitive.
They notice and value quality, and want what they do or create to be superior to lesser offerings. 2w3s find their talents and maximize them to full effect, have a flair for business, and are confident in what they share. They know it’s worth what they charge for it. What they contribute should enhance and improve life, bring out the good in others, or inspire. 2w3s know others need them and meet those needs with efficiency, by putting aside their own feelings to figure out what needs done and doing it. They’re assertive and act on their emotions with direct pursuit of what they want to make happen.
Not only do they want to do what is right, they want to do it “the best,” and it is easy for them to slip into a “role,” which is whatever the other person expects from them (or the 2w3 assumes they ask of them). In their mind, the joy, security, and contentment of their loved ones depends on them; without them, things would not get finished. They are a force for good in their sphere, and all they do is also good, even if it means to amplify a loved one’s talents, skill or attractiveness to match how the 2w3 sees them.
Read the full profile, almost 9,000 words including self-work, about the Enneagram 2 in my book, 9 Kinds of Quirky.
Social Variants:
Since my book does not include social variant types, I recommend you purchase John Lucovich’s excellent and ground-breaking work on the topic. You can read more of his content here.
Social variants determine how we respond to the world and where our major priorities in life lie. Attentiveness to bonding, social responsibilities, and how we ‘appear’ to others is in the realm of social (soc). Survival, fulfilling all of one’s needs, and a focus on ensuring one always has enough resources for a comfortable life is self-preservation (sp). Sexual displays, competing for attention, being like a moth to a flame in your pursuit of another person, or competing for a mate falls under the realm of sexual (sx). Read through each to determine which resonates the most with you.
The Self-Preservation 2
Self-Preservation Twos are looking to experience the Essential Quality of love through attending to the well-being, comfort, and health of others. They are classic providers and have a strong sense of obligation and responsibility.
Because of the Self-Preservation emphasis on the body and on practical results, these Twos are warm but don’t often have the gregariousness of other Twos. Especially if they have a low Social Drive, the way they show their love and support may not often be as “personal” or as “face to face” as Twos dominant in Social or Sexual. Their style of support tends to be practical, like financial support, some sort of skill in healing, or caretaking. Their dedication and drive can make for an incredible capacity for selflessness and giving care, especially in times of crisis or when people can feel there’s no one else to turn to. Yet this often means Self-Preservation Twos neglect their own self-care and run themselves ragged for other people with the unconscious expectation that others will be there in their own time of need. Time and energy not focusing on the benefit of others can create anxiety. They may withdraw or self-indulge in food or idle time to compensate for the care they feel they’re not getting. This gives the appearance of self-care without the actual care.
In some cases, Self-Preservation Twos have been so caught up in performing a function for others or in occupying a caretaking role that they may not know how to relate to others without having something to offer. Despite all their helping, they may not have formed a bond on the personal levels they thought or wanted because it had all been contingent around a dynamic of offering support. This situation compounds the feeling of being uncared for, which their superego takes as a sign they’re not doing enough. In extreme cases, this can lead to the Self-Preservation Two essentially performing roles and tasks they’re not qualified for simply for the sake of being needed by others.
Over time, a lack of adequate self-care paired with a Two’s difficulty in directly asking for what they need can create a pattern of resentment and entitlement. They jump into situations to provide support to others in the hopes of being cared for in return, but those who benefit from the support can become habituated to it without understanding the Two’s expectations for reciprocation or the amount of energy the Two is spending. Twos can then feel that their boundaries have been impinged on, occasionally culminating in eruptions of devastating anger.
The Social 2
Social Twos seek to experience Essential Love in their relationships, vocation, and their sense of belonging. Social Twos are typically deeply involved with people and have a great deal of energy for relationships. Because of this, they have wide social networks, typically serving as a central axis within their milieu. Social Twos have deep fears of exclusion, both in interpersonal relationships and in their social context. Therefore, they may acquire specialized relational skills in order to have something to offer to those who make the effort to connect with them. They are also likely to insert themselves into other people’s relationships and affairs as necessary connective tissue and into conflicts as mediators.
Pride can make it hard for Social Twos to see the extent of their social positioning and interpersonal meddling. Because of the Social Two’s emphasis on positive intentions and loving feelings, they may fail to see themselves as socially ambitious. Yet this very lack of acknowledgment is often why people sometimes pull away, keep distance, or end relationships with them.
Further complicating the matter is that, in not wanting to expose the elements of themselves that the superego deems selfish or unlovable, a Social Two will be unreceptive to genuine help and support. The hierarchy-making element of the Social Drive can express itself here as creating an unconscious dynamic of positioning oneself “above” others, as one who bestows support while others must always be on the receiving end. Others may feel that the Social Two will not allow them to be on equal footing, making the real connection and intimacy Social Twos crave impossible. Neurotic Social Twos have an extremely difficult time being alone or not being involved in other people’s aims and affairs..
The Sexual 2
Sexual Twos long to find the Essential Quality of Love through their romantic relationships and attractions. Sexual Twos often have a coquettish persona, and they typically know how to turn up the intrigue and sexual tension while still retaining a “good” image.
Sexual Twos often struggle with craving nearly constant attention from the object of their desire and have learned how to be attention-grabbing in order to keep it. This betrays an often deep-seated insecurity around their own genuine attractiveness and about their ability to maintain that attraction over a period of time. They might be physically beautiful but have severe insecurities that their personality is repellant, or they might simply worry that they themselves can’t keep attraction and passion intense enough, whether or not this is a real concern of their partner.
When attracted to someone, Sexual Twos may try to force a relationship in a variety of ways. Even relatively balanced Sexual Twos have a difficult time not being in a relationship, so infatuation based on very little is a frequent occurrence. They may even talk themselves into being attracted to certain people in order to force the chemistry. The Sexual Drive combined with the Pride of Two often manifests as over-doing efforts to attract, allure, and occupy their partner’s attention while often not being real with themselves about the true state of their own attraction. They may have so much emotional reactivity around losing their partner’s interest that they may be unaware if they themselves have lost attraction to their partner instead.
Sexual Twos who are imbalanced may throw themselves at any potential partner who reciprocates, or, conversely, at those whose attraction is most difficult to earn. This can lend itself to the Sexual Two choosing partners who aren’t up to their intellectual and emotional level, who take them for granted, or who reinforce a negative psychological status quo. When insecurity around desirability sets in, the Sexual Two can become invasive, both in terms of trying to receive sex and attention as reassurance, as well as acting out intense possessiveness, jealousy, and control. When unbalanced, Sexual Twos can engage in exaggerated displays of love, attraction, devotion, and simply assume that they are the best possible partner for their object of desire.
Influences on MBTI Types:
Editor’s Note: Because of its emphasis on responding to people’s emotional needs, 2s are feelers. Thinkers who have an element of 2 are 3w2 or 1w2.
ISFJ: often where the 2 shines most; a eager and expressive ISFJ, often incredible at attending to others’ immediate, present, and physical needs, but cautious in asking others to commiserate with them or help them talk through Fe-issues; can identify entirely through being acts of service, and feel displaced if others no longer ‘need’ them in some capacity. Uses Fe + 2 to read and meet others needs in advance.
ESFJ: another ‘most likely’ combination; but far more focused, like the ESTJ, on the broader community’s needs rather than individuals; likely to set up hospitals, social organizations, help groups, and create movements to meet immediate local needs; low Ti + 2 leads to a lack of self-analysis, and fears of others not needing their influence; can be pushy in trying to fix others’ problems for them, if immature or imbalanced.
INFJ: gifted at figuring out not only what people need, but what they need to hear, in order to shape them toward a greater version of themselves, which can lead them into manipulative behaviors if unhealthy; when healthy, an effective counselor-type personality, able to forewarn of troubles, usually strongly reliant on their relationships and concerned with appropriateness; sometimes with a greater over-reaching vision they want to see come about.
ENFJ: an aggressive social activist who thinks in the long term, rather than on short-term concerns and needs in the community; often wants to shape society for future great rewards; but prone to inferior Ti + 2 problems of not wanting to appear weak, and fearing unless others praise and follow them, they will leave no lasting impact on the world.
ESFP: is much more of a “doer” than an “emotional talker,” often taking direct Te-actions to organize events and problem-solve, rather than truly listening to others’ needs; may give impractical and/or generous gifts out of a desire to help, but a lack of social appropriateness or imagining how the other person might feel. May be distressed that they cannot connect to others as easily as the SFJ-2’s can.
ISFP: softens Fi-dom into a helpful and non-critical personality, eager to help others but uncertain how to do so on an emotional sharing level; the 2 can increase their sensitivity and take the rough edges off inferior Te. May enter nursing and/or doctoring professions, where their Fi-dom detachment allows them to offer care without over-expression.
ENFP: more socially-aware, eager to please, and harmonious than most ENFP combinations, focused on maintaining their relationships and volunteering to help out, with the expectation that others will do the same for them without being asked; non-confrontational, and angst-ridden when in trouble, but devotes a lot of their ‘helpfulness’ toward psychology or tert-Te direct decisive action, more than long term care.
INFP: the quiet, sensitive helper who thrives on others’ loves and gives it selflessly in return, but who ‘introverts’ their feelings and needs, vanishes in troubled times in their own life, and feels a sense of loss when they cannot find their place in the world.
