Am an I an Enneagram 4? What does it mean to be an Image type? What’s a good contrast between 4w3 and 4w5? How are self-preservation 4s, social 4s, and sexual 4s different from each other? This in-depth analysis answers all of your questions!
INSIDE THIS POST:
THE 4 AS AN IMAGE TYPE
Image types want the world to appreciate them for their authentic self, but for them to feel seen, you must witness them in a way that reinforces what they value in themselves; thus, you mirror it back to them and affirm their self-image. To accomplish this means they deliberately and constantly edit the outer self (their appearance, how they dress, act, talk, walk, etc.) and their inner self (choosing which emotions to focus on) to reinforce their preferred traits and erase all that don’t live up to their self-ideal. They see themselves as being on stage and want to show their best self to the audience by altering what they can control to match what they desire for themselves. They show their value to you through how they act and represent themselves (it’s always on their mind), and by correcting your wrong impressions about them by replacing them with their own narrative. They want you to see them as their finest self and admire it, which keeps them in a recurrent state of self-tweaking to refine their image and externalize what’s held inside.
4s believe their value lies in their uniqueness from everyone else, so they nurture, highlight, and fixate on how they aren’t like others, by focusing on their emotional experiences. They know their feelings and thoughts are exclusive to them, because they originate in their heart, the center of their being. Since no one else has their exact inner response to life, they are unique. They center their identity on this belief. 4s focus on identifying, exploring, dwelling on, and drawing attention to the part of the self no one else relates to, and build their self-image around it. One way they do this is to focus on what feels underappreciated in the world and to draw meaning from it.
Since 4s filter everything through their emotions, they are dramatic, honest, and raw with what they truly feel, think, desire, and want. No emotion is taboo for them, even the ones others shun; they mine their feelings to get at what lies underneath them, and use this inner excavation to tell them who they are inside. Since emotions like pain and torment feel intensely rich and real, 4s don’t bypass them or rush past their trauma or sorrow. They stay with suffering as long as needed to process the emotion and generate inner meaning from it. To find something evocative, true, or beautiful in their suffering is how they cope with the existence of anguish. Their identity centers around how they are the only ones who can derive significance from pain. 4s are intensely emotional and frame things in colorful terms. To feel pain is inherently meaningless would kill them; having their suffering or appreciation of it be mundane would kill them; to cease to suffer feels like it would kill them (but it won’t).
4s believe they have gone through the worst pain imaginable, so they can sit with others through trauma or sorrow without trying to heal them or cheer them up. They make the person feel understood in advance. Understanding pain is one of their specialties. 4s possess tremendous depth and insight, and find the beauty in sorrow others can’t, because they are present to it with no need to move past it into “happier” emotions. For them, reality is full of exquisite pain. They don’t re-frame it to see it in a positive lens to escape from it; they soul-search to try to find what their pain, alienation, tragedies, or suffering has taught them or what it reveals about their identity. 4s believe genuine depth and great art comes from agony, so they welcome it with open arms. The self they feel most acutely and show you revolves around their identification with the trauma or sorrows that defined their life. It is what made them who they are, what gives them meaning, and they wear it like a tarnished string of pearls.
4s freely share what they think or experience emotionally and hold back what doesn’t feel authentic. All their emotions are intense. To feel nothing makes them feel dead. To avoid inner emptiness (thus, nonexistence), 4s focus on maintaining a heightened inner state by noticing what feelings make them experience the strongest reaction and amplifying or digging into them to experience their intensity. It is not enough to feel pain; they dwell on it, to sustain their suffering as long as possible, because it connects them to something that feels true and powerful. Sorrow, envy, hatred, and pain hit them hardest. They resist others’ attempts to encourage them to move on, because that denies the depths of their torment or cheapens their loss.
They accept all emotions as true, not just the ones society finds to be “good” or admirable—hatred, envy, pain, resentment, bitterness, jealousy, etc., all have a place at the table, and 4s own the ones that feel true. 4s may think, “Not being this way or feeling this way would make me a better person, but that’s not me.” They see their feelings as a way to learn more about their soul. 4s let their emotions determine their actions (or lack thereof, if they don’t “feel like it”). 4s seek ways to stir up their intense emotions, and to get lost in the internal mystery of self, so they may create a scenario that leads to frustration, because it feels so deeply satisfying to get thwarted.
Longing is such a powerful feeling that invokes their internal need to endlessly search for more than exists, 4s like to stay there. Solving a problem leaves them feeling empty. Longing defines them; they focus on and long for what feels absent, even if they can’t put their finger on what it is. 4s know it is more than this, more than they are, more than this relationship, more than this piece of art or that book. They search for it, but never find it, because they don’t know what it is. They just know it’s the missing piece to make them whole.
They suspect whatever they take out of themselves and cast into reality won’t live up to their expectations; they lack sufficient talent to make it as beautiful as it ought to be, or someone may take it and cheapen it. That is worse than death for a Longing Heart. In their mind, all is superior, beautiful, deeper, or richer; the real world feels dirty, tainted, or unsophisticated. They may bring their treasures out into a polluted, shallow world to emphasize the difference between what is banal and their creation. More often, the 4 keeps it inside, where it gets poured through their heart and brought into their mind for excavation.
4s are born feeling different in ways they can’t change, so they have nothing to draw on to create an identity other than to find what is unusual in the self and show it off, hoping to be valued as someone special. Their sense of separation is inborn, how they felt since birth, and it becomes their shield. It’s the only thing they have to offer you —their heart, a deep, rare, sophisticated heart few will understand. If others relate to them, or try to tell them “I know how it feels,” it feels like they’re not taking the time to truly understand. 4s need you to see how unique they are, and get a thrill if you don’t recognize their favorite things, because it reinforces their self-image of being out of step with current trends. It proves they can find depth and meaning in things that don’t appeal to you. 4s seek out things others don’t like and make their thoughts on it deeper than yours.
They have an automatic internal rejection to comparisons; if they meet another 4, it’s obvious to them how they are nothing alike, and they look for nothing they share in common. No one can relate to them. If they find similarities in someone else, they focus on the distinctions that make them a separate individual. One way they do this is to emphasize and relate to their suffering as a fundamental part of their identity.
The 4w3
A 3 wing means part of the 4w3’s inner desire is to find their unique offering and work on it to improve their skill, be competitive, and develop a sophisticated persona. They feel to embody their best self, they must be “seen” by the “right audience.” They want success and to win, without compromising their high personal standards.
4s are feeling hearts who get lost in their emotions, but 3s bypass their feelings to get things done. 4w3s use their envy to drive them hard to hone their abilities and develop skills that make them stand out and show their value. They want to be the best and have truly unique ideas and talent in whatever matters to them, and for others to admire their superior taste. If others don’t like what they do, 4w3s see it as proof of their superiority. Only they can understand what is beautiful or significant about this particular thing.
They mingle disdain and haughtiness with their desire for a deep emotional connection to those who interest them, but struggle to find a balance between their high expectations and to “adapt” to get their needs met; too much adaptation feels like a violation of self and a relaxation of standards that might make them too relatable or insincere. 4w3s know what the world values and find a way to put a unique spin on it, to reveal their feelings. They look down on things that don’t achieve a level of elegance or that seem subpar or lazy. Even if they’re not busy improving on and sharing their own things, they know a lousy job when they see it.
Their need to put a unique stamp on everything makes it hard for them to actualize, since everything needs constant inner reflection and refinement, even as something inside them pushes them to get out there and be “known.” It never feels polished enough, perfect enough, beautiful enough, or deep enough; once they put their art or image into the world, others may copy it or not see it properly. This makes them more determined to succeed, to stand out, and to come up with something exclusive that proves their worth. A 4w3 spends a great deal of time and effort on how they come across, is aware of the message they intend to send, and strives to embody their preferred version of self, but does not want anyone to know how much effort goes into it. The goal is to project what is lacking in them in a way that draws attention to their brokenness and how it gives them depth, and for that to be something you admire.
The 4w5
A 5 wing means this 4 rarely gets outside their head into their body, and sees no need to put their ideas out into reality where others may taint them. Having feelings and analyzing them for significance or insight is more intellectually fulfilling than engaging with the world. 4w5 struggle to “do” because feel-thinking is mentally satisfying.
4w5s prides themselves on their intellectual pursuits; on finding and coming up with ideas or theories no one else is deep enough to find for the pure joy of discovery and analysis. They dive into their few passions to find a fresh perspective or new thought that sparks an emotion and explore it for their own mental delight. This gets taken apart in their mind, thought about, entangled into their sense of what it says about them, or who it makes them, and becomes a treasured inner resource and part of their identity. Something only they know about and care about. It’s unnecessary for them to share their findings with anyone, although they may show them to a friend who has proven themselves to be intelligent and deep. They feel like the only person alive who sees how meaningful and interesting this is. The only one who can interpret it and find its hidden truths.
It is rare they show interest in sharing their discoveries, because they are intensely personal and tied to their emotions. If they put what they discover and create out there, 4w5s rarely respond to your remarks about what it means, unless it sparks their intellect. Then, they open up and discuss it at length, glad to find someone who can ignite their mind. 4w5s ignore whatever has no interest for them, because it holds no value to them.
4w5s don’t explain themselves to anyone they don’t care about, or assume what they feel and think has anything to do with others or is any of their business. They care about being “seen,” but aren’t interested in image-managing beyond putting the self in alignment with their desired self. Having an impact is less important to them than to the 4w3, and they feel no need to compromise their opinions or to alter their approach for a wider audience. 4w5s like to explore things that bring up intense emotions. It pleases them to dig into things others shy away from, like the darker side of humanity or its callousness, and to examine how it makes them feel and what that reveals about them. They don’t need stories to have happy endings, because tragedy feels more real and provokes a bigger emotional response. 4w5s enjoy coming up with unlikable characters, because they feel more “real” than “saintly” ones who always do the “right” things. (Consider Emily Brontë’s novel, Wuthering Heights, of which one critic said, “the incidents are too course and disagreeable to be attractive.” High praise indeed to her mind!)
4w5s prefer to lurk in the shadows, to observe and think but not take part, in favor of their constant inner excavation for meaning. They don’t care what others think, in favor of trusting their analysis, insight, and sense of self, built up from what makes sense to them.
Read the full profile, almost 9,000 words including self-work, about the Enneagram 4 in my book, 9 Kinds of Quirky.
Social Variants:
Since my book does not include social variant types, I recommend you purchase John Lucovich’s excellent and ground-breaking work on the topic. You can read more of his content here.
Social variants determine how we respond to the world and where our major priorities in life lie. Attentiveness to bonding, social responsibilities, and how we ‘appear’ to others is in the realm of social (soc). Survival, fulfilling all of one’s needs, and a focus on ensuring one always has enough resources for a comfortable life is self-preservation (sp). Sexual displays, competing for attention, being like a moth to a flame in your pursuit of another person, or competing for a mate falls under the realm of sexual (sx). Read through each to determine which resonates the most with you.
Self-Preservation 4
Self-Preservation Fours strive to experience Essential Depth through their lifestyle, creativity, and self-expression. They usually require periodic bouts of solitude to be immersed in their creative projects, but they struggle with finding a lifestyle that is congruent with their needs and inner experience.
The Self-Preservation Instinct results in an insular, highly sensual, and tactile Type Four. They’re especially sensitive to matters of aesthetics and ambiance, and their preferences of environment and home are reflections of their idiosyncratic personalities, having more to do with emotional resonance than comfort.
Self-Preservation Fours are looking for their home, work, and overall lifestyle to be as close an expression of and congruent with their subjective experiences as possible. Their lifestyle and environment should be a container for their self-discovery, aesthetically evocative of what draws them inward while being sheltered from outside intrusion. In this type, Envy lends itself both to a struggle with feeling functional and capable and, more centrally, to a frustration that the overall picture of one’s lifestyle doesn’t accord with an idealized self-image. They can become so myopically devoted to forging a personalized and individualistic path that they fail to develop practical and interpersonal skills or make certain compromises which may help them achieve their aim.
When imbalanced, Self-Preservation Fours can “paint themselves into a corner,” limiting their possibilities and opportunities for growth by rejecting all that doesn’t accord with their self-image and abhorring anything that limits their creativity. People of this type can have an indulgent streak, especially when it comes to spending beyond their means to acquire objects of beauty or to pursue situations, travels, or opportunities that speak to them. This can be a strength—a devotion to feed their inner life—or a way they shoot themselves in the foot. They are often tenuously balancing between financial security and collapse. Emotional states and self-comforting are modified through indulgence in excessive eating, drinking, sex, and carelessness. Unhealthy Self-Preservation Fours are prone to masochistically acting out against themselves physically, by going without food, sleeping in bizarre places, and even self-injury
The Social 4
Social Fours are looking to experience Essential Depth in their relationships, creative offerings, and social roles. Social Fours combine an appreciation for depth and authenticity with an interest in other people, lending to deeply personal self-revelation in their artwork, interests, and general self-expression. These Fours can adapt themselves to Social situations with greater ease than other Fours, yet they still need to maintain a sense of being different from others in some remarkable way.
The Four’s desire to be a unique individual comes into tension with the Social Drive’s need to be available for connection, so in Social Four, there’s a special effort to embody and share a deeper view of life in a way that is comprehensible and useful to others without compromising their personal vision. Whereas the Social Drive generally wants to find “common ground” with others, Social Fours crave connection while feeling uneasy about that which is “common,” so they seek to cultivate extraordinary connections with a select few. People of this type are usually not “people persons.” They are likely to fantasize that a social group, friend, or lover who will see who they “really” are is elsewhere, often ignoring the love and acceptance that’s already present for them in the relationships at hand.
Social Fours feel that their differences and unique perspective is a strength, one they long to be recognized for, and at the same time, Envy often brings their inadequacies into extreme focus, making them self-conscious and feeling unable to connect, comparing themselves to how they could be if only they had some other characteristic or quality. They can adopt an exotic, mysterious, or sophisticated persona. They can identify with being an outsider and appreciate the mystique that affords while also longing to be among a more elite, studied, or chosen circle.
When feeling slighted or unacknowledged, Social Fours are prone to adopt an arrogant, elite attitude. Distressed Social Fours can make dramatic public displays of their anger, with accusations of betrayal and cutting criticisms. They can easily feel humiliated, leading to exaggerated motivations for revenge and seriously undermining others for perceived slights, and they can become so focused on their own pain as a justification for their behavior that they fail to see the extent of their impact.
The Sexual 4
Sexual Fours long to experience Essential Depth in their relationships, creativity, and intense experiences. They are prone to demonstrating their creativity and depth as a means to entice and sexually attract, and they can fetishize emotional, intellectual, or spiritual depth, imbuing it with an erotic mystique and deep contempt for the mundane.
Both Type Four and the Sexual Drive emphasize characteristics that distinguish oneself from others; compounded, Sexual Fours cultivate identities that are hyper-specific and elaborate. This hyper-specificity aims to be very attractive to a few and to repel those deemed too “banal” to appreciate their unique flavor. They want to be uninhibited in pursuing attractions, so they’re typically resistant to structure, confining jobs, and adherence to routines. There is often a struggle to sustain themselves practically.
Envy lends itself to chronic doubts about attractiveness and the ability to keep those they wish to attract interested in them. Hypersensitivity to their partner’s perceived level of attraction generates great distress if there are any lulls or mellow periods, so Sexual Fours tend to be sexually competitive—they feel they can’t be magnetic enough, and therefore are always trying to shore up their display of talents while never feeling adequate. They may feel the need to be the greatest love of the partner they’re with or, at least, the most impactful and unique one. Envy also creates an excessive focus on perceived personal defects, which a Four will inevitably find, that disqualifies them from having and keeping the person they want.
This can lend to Sexual Fours testing their partners and desired objects in various ways: possessiveness, suspicion, or causing fights to feel “entangled.” They’re prone to acting out stormy swings between idealization and disillusionment, extremes of love and hatred. Sexual Fours can play out a pattern of frustration with their loved ones, wanting their loved ones to be everything for them and rejecting them when their partner is unable to meet unrealistically high expectations.
Disintegrating Sexual Fours are prone to self-harm, emotional abusiveness, and physical violence toward themselves and their partners, acting out intense hatred and possessiveness toward their partner and adopting a reckless, “burn it all down” approach.
Influences on MBTI Types:
Editor’s Note: Because of their over-association with all their emotional moods and unwillingness to move past traumatic experiences, all 4s are feelers within MBTI. Thinkers with a strong element of 4 are 5w4 or 3w4.
ISFJ: a moody, negative, self-centered ISFJ, who focuses excessively on their separateness from other normal people and draws attention to it, turning it into a shield; and who favors strong inferior Ne development (but fears their Ne isn’t as ‘good’ as a high Ne user / their ideas are not smart / unique / eccentric enough, and will be jealous of NPs); will often compare to others through Fe, and may try to make others acknowledge their uniqueness as a form of self-assurance; 4 + Fe means this ISFJ is open about their negative feelings and in discussing them, and fearful they will not be loved for themselves. May mistype as and relate to a Fi-dom.
ESFJ: intense emotions that run their lives, and spill onto others in the immediate area, prone to over-reacting and feeling isolated; the desire to connect to others but also remain different from them; believes there is something ‘wrong’ with them that nobody can fix. Inferior Ti makes them reluctant to step away from, or admit their emotions may be too intense for the situation. Often prides themselves on being an ‘artist’ and going against the grain; may involve themselves in various good causes, and then drop them when they become ‘too mainstream.’
INFJ: often mistype as INFPs due to intense emphasis on individuality, but may fail to realize their comparison method is through Fe; more independent and less inclined to connect to or mirror others, because this feels inauthentic and insincere; 4 places intense emphasis on Ni-dom creativity which might stoke inferior Se problems of inertia (dreaming of the ‘perfect’ relationship/project rather than starting it); 4 + Fe means this INFJ is much more open about their feelings and in discussing them as things happen, and fearful they will not be loved for themselves.
ENFJ: charismatic and eccentric, may be a natural trend-setter… and annoyed by it, prone to a melancholic view of the world, with much emphasis on their NiSe sense of fashion, design, taste, or ideas; the desire to connect to others but also remain different from them; believes there is something ‘wrong’ with them that cannot be fixed; over-focus on negativity and elitism. Inferior Ti makes them reluctant to step away from, or admit their emotions may be too intense for the situation.
ESFP: will express a dramatic sense of self through fashion and/or sensory hobbies and pursuits, with Fi working with 4 to exaggerate a sense of uniqueness / being true to oneself; due to extroversion, wants to be noticed and appreciated but also feels different from other people, and may drive them away with intense emotional outbursts and destructive behavior (Te being prone to bluntness). Good at finishing their creative projects (tert Te) but may be more idealistic with inferior Ni than is usual for ESFPs.
ISFP: sensitive, passionate, emotional (though they may not say it, they will act on it) and with a sense of never belonging; strong need to use aesthetics to self-present / differ from others, often a snobbish sense of good taste and/or money spent on extravagances; usually channels their creativity into art, dance, music, etc., as a method of self-expression; will suffer for their art, cannot do without suffering or feeling it. Prone to intense, melancholic Ni loops, where they fixate on a dark vision for the future.
ENFP: more sensitive, melodramatic, and melancholy than other ENFPs, but also more driven to implement their idealizations into reality through tert-Te; often dramatic and attention-seeking, will go out of their way to be different as a protective stance against their fears of being broken; has more trouble with inferior Si, in that the ENFP-4 who falls into the grip may become HIGHLY depressed / full of guilt and shame over past mistakes and relationship failures; prone to self-doubt and an intense need to have all their ideas and projects be unique from their peers. Only happy when able to express emotions through their art, often hot-tempered and prone to blasting people with Te.
INFP: melodramatic, easily insulted, and highly individual, the 4 enhances all the natural traits of the INFP to hyper-levels: intense, melodramatic emotions (and more openness in expressing them than other INFPs), high levels of creativity (and extreme sensitivity toward criticism of their hobbies, crafts, writing, costuming, taste in books, etc), a tendency to wax melancholic about the past and fixate on former mistakes, will suffer for their art, cannot do without suffering, and idealize romantic interests (while inferior Te struggles to keep momentum going in any project that does not ‘emotionally resonate’ with Fi).
